Hindustan Times
BAI-SEXUAL
What is it with Indian men and their maids?
Did you know that your average kamwali bai is one of the biggest sex symbols for Indian men? Don’t believe me….. then just maybe you’ve been out of sync with popular pornography. Go online and check out the videos, the websites or the erotic stories — you’ll quickly realise this isn’t some subterranean sub category but a well-established mainstream kink. Apparently, your average next-door maid, swabbing away at the floor on her haunches, in a low-cut blouse and rolled-up crushed sari, is a major turn on.
To each his own, I guess. But what intrigues is when and why did the maid servant become such a hot number? Well, here are my two bits — Its no secret that most Indian men grow up repressed. A recent Durex sex survey (that fountainhead of research) says the average age at which Indians lose their virginity is 22.9 (years, not months!) Last year, this very survey had also indicated that “Indians make the most committed lovers”-which taken together with the latest survey only goes to show that the lack of opportunity is a sure shot success formula for fidelity.
Pix courtesy: Bai Malai (www.baimalai.phonethics.in) - the blog that exposes the reel truth behind the Page 3 gossip
But I digress…. so, as my theory goes, the Indian male isn’t getting any (not at least till he turns 23) - mainly because there isn’t much interaction with women. But even if they aren’t getting any, they continue to covet women. To quote Hannibal the Cannibal, “It is in their nature to covet. I can almost hear Hannibal’s sinister hiss: “And how do they begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things we covet? No. We begin by coveting what we see everyday.” Enter the kamwali bai - who we see at least once , maybe twice a day. Ok, I concede it’s a little simplistic - but here’s the thing. I checked out how the Dhobi woman and the sabzee wali (both regular visitors at home) fare in the world of porn and bingo - they’re both there. Not as big as the kamwali bai, but definite subcategories.
But it isn’t just the fact that you get to see the kamwali bai every day. Part of the fantasy of having it on with your any maid is that she is seen as this “biddable female” willing to do anything for you. God knows that’s a big part of most male fantasies. And think what that can do to the excitable hormones of the repressed Indian male. True, there is an element of exploitation in the story line - but as long as everything stays within realm of fantasy - I’m not complaining.
Interestingly enough, the other guys who historically had a maid fetish way before us were the Brits. And in fact, the golden age of maid erotica was probably the Victorian era. There’s reams and reams of naughty stories set in big country houses full of pert, saucy Victorian maids, swishing to and fro in their uniforms asking: “Was that good for you Master.” Actually, come to think of it, the Victorian era was probably the time when all sexual kinks were invented.
Sadly, maids in the UK are a vanishing breed today. But luckily the fantasy lives on in the category of French Maid. As far as I can see, the French Maid fantasy is almost certainly a British creation, and something the French are completely oblivious of. It involves an element of role play, a skimpy costume and a perverted imagination.
But here, to my mind, is the major difference between the Brits and us. Your average Brit lives in a world where he gets everything he wants - so sadly everything becomes dull. It forces him to push further into freaky areas. To find joy in life - he buys a French Maid costume. On the other hand, your Indian male gets very little of what he wants. It forces him to escape into naughty fantasies. To find joy in life - he covets his kamwali bai.
Either way, Bai Sexuality rules.
(20 votes, average: 4.7 out of 5)
Loading ...Posted by Vijay Thapa on Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Filed under Sex and Relationships · Tagged Brits, Kamwali Bai, servant, sex survey
nice read…
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Ha ha ha ha….. this is so funny
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You are right. But it’s sad as well. The ‘bai’ is easy prey as she is poor and has no way but to go to the households for work, where not just youths but middle-aged men lust after them.
Typical hypocrisy of middle-class Indian males. Slum-dwellers are not treated as humans and it is believed that jhuggi-jhopdi walas don’t have izzat or that sex is common in that stratum of society.
However, when it comes to the ‘baai’, the same men forget their biases and crave for them. It’s high time that the prostition is legalised in this country.
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Megha Reply:
March 31st, 2009 at 9:43 am
Hmm.. I’m not really sure if I would want to employ a bai who’s a ‘licensed sex-worker’
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
March 31st, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Spot on Megha. But I think what Indscribe is trying to say is we need to do something about the repressive part of our culture. I’m not advocating free sex, but at least a bit more healthy interaction between the sexes would be nice….
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Abdullah K. Reply:
August 18th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Prostitution is not really the answer. How many of these guys who covet their maids would be willing to sleep with prostitutes? And how many 20 year olds will be able to afford them even if they are willing?
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Its so true that Indian men are most sexually repressed, thanks mostly to a very hypocritical society in most parts of ur country. Massive poverty and illiteracy adds to the problem multiplied by huge economic inequality. Hence the most weird fantasies.
@ Indscribe’s comment above… Its not just the middle class male who fantsizes about maids. I’m quite sure the average ‘jawaan’ male servant of the household fantasizes about memsaahibs.
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Spot on! Been waiting for you to begin
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Yes, exploitation is one thing. But why is the bai a sexual thing for many men is a more confusing thing. The whole problem is repression. There is a lot of underground activity in Indian houses. Incest, child abuse, all these problems stem from repression. And yet, political parties want us to segregate men and women more. Take us further into repression. Can only lead to more and more sexual perverseness.
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I really liked this blog and I wanted to say that I also feel that these maid servants are being exploitated very badly and cruelly and that Indian men always look upon them as sex symbols and prostitutes.These maid servants are also human beings and they also have feelings,one should always reciprocate the feelings of others whether it be maid servants or anyone in this whole universe.Everyone are born equal and one should not discriminate someone on any grounds whether it be caste,religion,sex etc.This is one of the most basic component of human development.Human development regards human well being as an end in itself and economic growth as a means to achieve that ends.
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herminder kaur Ohri Reply:
April 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
Vikram so you liked the blog eh! does your mother know? do the colony bai’s know? if they do and seeing how you noble your intentions are, I am sure they will line up to work for you.
Come on boys/men be like Vikram and give dignity to a working class girl
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Hey Vijay I can imagine your EYE ON YOUR BAAI
Hope you will recollect me.Should catch you one good day.
Ashok
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
March 31st, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Hi Ashok — remember you well. And no, don’t have a Bai at home. We’ve got some male help — but then I’m neither Bai or bi - sexual.
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Come on, don’t make it sound like a bai syndrome. It existed since times immemorial. The kings and their dasis. The prince and their nannys. All the mythology is full of these stories. Electronic gadgets are exploiting these situations for public consuption. Check the memsahibs and kamwala baba….
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
March 31st, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Good point. But you’re only talking about Kings and princes….think the bai syndrome is far more distributed.
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Nutsure Reply:
April 1st, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Praja followed the Raja
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lol This is so funny!!!
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the blog is spot on. the responses are a tad serious. the blog is about a sexual fantasy and not exploitation of the poor. fantasies are healthy and normal; that is what precisely the kaamwaali is - sexy due to her dishabille, but unavailable. so let us just fantasize about the cleavage and get on with our lives and wives and not get into a sociological analysis. keep it up (!) mr thapa.
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
April 1st, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Divya pal - I like your views!
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I’m delighted that you are now blogging Vijay, like the rest of u:) . Your post was hysterical and spot on. I have to say none of it surprises me at all - except the claim that most Indian men lose their virginity at 22. I had thought, judging posts on other blogs, it wasn’t until they were married or 60, so this is rather refreshing, if true.
It is so true about the Brits (and Dutch and Germans) having too much offered on a plate, so much so they end up shopping in an Anne Summers shop for a costume or two (haven’t noticed this shop in India) or engaging in other freaky pursuits.
Cannot wait for your next blog.
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
April 1st, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Thanks Naomi. Btw, I love Brits because they’re always freaky in a funny (humourous) way. The Germans, Dutch are way too serious.
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Abdullah K. Reply:
August 18th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
It was from sex survey by a condom company. Which means the ’survey’ is already biased towards a sample which already uses condoms or which wouldn’t want to admit to being a virgin. In reality, the average age at which an Indian male loses virginity would be past their 25 (and married).
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Very good Sir,
It’s quite funny.
Men are men…………….Poor fellows…………..
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
April 1st, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Tks Ashish!
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It really takes serious guts to admit something like this in open, more so accepting that its true and happening. And I am not saying there is anything wrong in it but there should not be any hypocrisy in the matters concerning sex.
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Hey good to see that the blog did not remain a fantasy but became a reality.
Will keep an eye out on subjects for you! Remember the discussion on how vhs defeated beta thanks to porn?
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
April 1st, 2009 at 6:58 pm
And DVD VHS! Yes, I do. Tks for opting to do some “Turned On” research.
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funny but its the truth… watchin bai’s are one way that indian male satisfy their sexual hormones. even the shaky old man in my colony takes a peek at his kaam waali bai when ever she come for work… not that i don’t lol…………………
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Hi vijay,
i got inspired by your post and wrote one myself. About the indian kaamwali bai’s sexuality as portrayed by the indian media.
http://rega.in/2009/04/02/bai-malai/
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Haha…. nice going! Specially loved the hiphop video. Take care
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Great!!!
But is a bad bai better than a good article???
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Spot on Sir!! In fact, realms of Bollywood films have been devoted to the same. Come to think of it, not only men, quite a few of the earliest sexual encounters for boys also end up with their house-”help”! All in all, even if its not a sexual encounter, all of us @ some stage have thought about our maids, etc. on those lines!
Look forward to more blogs from your end…
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Spot on Sir!! In fact, realms of Bollywood films have been devoted to the same. Come to think of it, not only men, quite a few of the earliest sexual encounters for boys also end up with their house-”help”! All in all, even if its not a sexual encounter, all of us @ some stage have thought about our maids, etc. on those lines!
Look forward to more blogs from your end… quite a pleasant surprise to see your writings:-)
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Could this have as much to do with class consciousness and superiority/inferiority complex as it does with sex?
Would the same men leer at their mother’s friends when they come to visit? Or are those women deemed more respectable “aunties”?
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Vijay, is this basis 1st hand experience… looks quite “felt” all thru the tone of it… having said that, its indeed true and is a very well written “experiential” post…
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hey….you must do some research on Indian females now….I have known some ladies who show more than passing interest in their dhobis, and grocery boys …eh eh eh eh……….. not talking about myself though
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Vijay Jung Thapa Reply:
April 7th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Very Interesting Varsha…. do give more details.
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gd analysis sir. lekin blogs par female filter to laga diya hota. ab hum(male) longo ka raaz raaz nahi rah jayega.
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Vijay,
One of my male friend’s bai flashed him when he was about 10. Of course, at that age he couldn’t quite grasp …ahem…the enormity of the situation. But now as a 25 year old he still raves about her ample assets.
Ironically, when a bai flashes a guy its some sort of a sexual fantasy. If a male servant does it to a girl its sexual harassment. Life is unfair.
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“Ironically, when a bai flashes a guy its some sort of a sexual fantasy. If a male servant does it to a girl its sexual harassment. Life is unfair.”……………..
That’s because there are no ample assets to survey.
Contrary to popular belief…. size DOES matter!
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Kamwalis are easy sex and pose as very pious and pure and self righteous like all Indian women, in fact most. They are sex starved as they dont have the time and place for good sex considering tiny homes with several family members under a roof. There are some who would give oral sex or even full sex for a few 100 bucks, especially the young girls. These women are also teases when they drop their pallus while sweeping the floor. one can offer them the whole months salary in just a day for sex. They are raw and horny. Women in slums bathe topless in the open on the footpaths and men stare..where is the holier than thou image of the indian woman gone then/?
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Archana Reply:
June 14th, 2009 at 2:18 am
This is ridiculous. The bai’s don’t pose for anyone neither they drop their pallus intentionally. Since their work involves bending down to clean the floor or wash the utensils, the pallu sometimes drops. But that happens to other women also, pallu drops sometimes while picking up something from the floor etc.
Kaamwali bai’s have lot of work to do at homes and don’t have to time to see what pose they are in or how many times the pallu had dropped. This is cruel on part of you if you accuse them of deliberately enticing men they work for. Do not hurl words like raw or horny towards them. Are you insane to think that they have sex for money? There is nothing common between a prostitute and a kaamwali bai.
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