Bereaved Motherhood
Dear blog-mates,
I decided to cede my space on Separated at Birth this week to a brave Israeli mother whose speech at the European Parliament is an eye-opener. The moral inherent to her pleadings is hard to miss. It’s about time that communities, castes, religions and countries pitted against each other began speaking for the other side. In our badly divided world, that perhaps is the only hope to stop the bloodshed, the killings and mindless hatred that even makes Sufism the target of suicide bombers — as was the case last week at Lahore’s highly revered Data Durbar. I don’t want to say more for I cannot match — but only plagiarize — the wisdom and the compassion of Dr Nurit Peled-Elhanan. I’m grateful to my friend Badri Raina who cared to send me her speech.
Vinod Sharma
Israeli Mother Addresses European Parliament
Dear Friends,
Dr Nurit Peled-Elhanan is the mother of Smadar Elhanan, 13 years old when killed by a suicide bomber in Jerusalem in September 1997. Below is Nurit’s speech made on International Women’s Day in Strasbourg earlier this month. Please listen to the words of a bereaved mother, whose daughter fell victim to a vicious, indiscriminating terrorist attack. I wish her words will enter the hearts of all peace seekers in our troubled and divided world. For better days,
Professor Avraham Oz,
Department of Hebrew and Comparative Literature,
University of Haifa,
avitaloz@research.haifa.ac.il
—-
WOMEN
by Nurit Peled-Elhanan
Thank you for inviting me to this today. It is always an honour and a pleasure to be here, among you (at the European Parliament).
However, I must admit I believe you should have invited a Palestinian woman at my stead, because the women who suffer most from violence in my county are the Palestinian women. And I would like to dedicate my speech to Miriam R’aban and her husband Kamal, from Bet Lahiya in the Gaza strip, whose five small children were killed by Israeli soldiers while picking strawberries at the family’s strawberry field. No one will ever stand trial for this murder.
When I asked the people who invited me here why didn’t they invite a Palestinian woman, the answer was that it would make the discussion too localized.
I don’t know what is non-localized violence. Racism and discrimination may be theoretical concepts and universal phenomena but their impact is always local, and real. Pain is local, humiliation, sexual abuse, torture and death, are all very local, and so are the scars.
It is true, unfortunately, that the local violence inflicted on Palestinian women by the government of Israel and the Israeli army, has expanded around the globe. In fact, state violence and army violence, individual and collective violence, are the lot of Muslim women today, not only in Palestine but wherever the enlightened western world is setting its big imperialistic foot. It is violence which is hardly ever addressed and which is halfheartedly condoned by most people in Europe and in the USA.
This is because the so-called free world is afraid of the Muslim womb.
Great France of “la liberte égalite et la fraternite” is scared of little girls with head scarves. Great Jewish Israel is afraid of the Muslim womb which its ministers call a demographic threat.
Almighty America and Great Britain are infecting their respective citizens with blind fear of the Muslims, who are depicted as vile, primitive and blood-thirsty, apart from their being non-democratic, chauvinistic and mass producers of future terrorists. This in spite of the fact that the people who are destroying the world today are not Muslim. One of them is a devout Christian, one is Anglican and one is a non-devout Jew.
I have never experienced the suffering Palestinian women undergo every day, every hour. I don’t know the kind of violence that turns a woman’s life into constant hell. This daily physical and mental torture of women who are deprived of their basic human rights and needs of privacy and dignity, women whose homes are broken into at any moment of day and night, who are ordered at a gun-point to strip naked in front of strangers and their own children, whose houses are demolished, who are deprived of their livelihood and of any normal family life. This is not part of my personal ordeal.
But I am a victim of violence against women insofar as violence against children is actually violence against mothers. Palestinian, Iraqi, Afghan women are my sisters because we are all at the grip of the same unscrupulous criminals who call themselves leaders of the free enlightened world and in the name of this freedom and enlightenment rob us of our children.
Furthermore, Israeli, American, Italian and British mothers have been for the most part violently blinded and brainwashed to such a degree that they cannot realize their only sisters, their only allies in the world are the Muslim Palestinian, Iraqi or Afghani mothers, whose children are killed by our children or who blow themselves to pieces with our sons and daughters. They are all mind-infected by the same viruses engendered by politicians. And the viruses, though they may have various illustrious names — such as Democracy, Patriotism, God, Homeland — are all the same. They are all part of false and fake ideologies that are meant to enrich the rich and to empower the powerful.
We are all the victims of mental, psychological and cultural violence that turn us to one homogenic group of bereaved or potentially bereaved mothers. Western mothers who are taught to believe their uterus is a national asset just like they are taught to believe that the Muslim uterus is an international threat. They are educated not to cry out: ‘I gave him birth, I breast fed him, he is mine, and I will not let him be the one whose life is cheaper than oil, whose future is less worth than a piece of land.’
All of us are terrorized by mind-infecting education to believe all we can do is either pray for our sons to come back home or be proud of their dead bodies.
And all of us were brought up to bear all this silently, to contain our fear and frustration, to take Prozac for anxiety, but never hail Mama Courage in public. Never be real Jewish or Italian or Irish mothers.
I am a victim of state violence. My natural and civil rights as a mother have been violated and are violated because I have to fear the day my son would reach his 18th birthday and be taken away from me to be the game tool of criminals such as Sharon, Bush, Blair and their clan of blood-thirsty, oil-thirsty, land thirsty generals..
Living in the world I live in, in the state I live in, in the regime I live in, I don’t dare to offer Muslim women any ideas how to change their lives. I don’t want them to take off their scarves, or educate their children differently, and I will not urge them to constitute Democracies in the image of Western democracies that despise them and their kind. I just want to ask them humbly to be my sisters, to express my admiration for their perseverance and for their courage to carry on, to have children and to maintain a dignified family life in spite of the impossible conditions my world in putting them in. I want to tell them we are all bonded by the same pain, we all the victims of the same sort of violence even though they suffer much more, for they are the ones who are mistreated by my government and its army, sponsored by my taxes.
Islam in itself, like Judaism in itself and Christianity in itself, is not a threat to me or to anyone. American imperialism is, European indifference and co-operation is and Israeli racism and its cruel regime of occupation is. It is racism, educational propaganda and inculcated xenophobia that convince Israeli soldiers to order Palestinian women at gun-point, to strip in front of their children for security reasons, it is the deepest disrespect for the other that allow American soldiers to rape Iraqi women, that give license to Israeli jailers to keep young women in inhuman conditions, without necessary hygienic aids, without electricity in the winter, without clean water or clean mattresses and to separate them from their breast-fed babies and toddlers. To bar their way to hospitals, to block their way to education, to confiscate their lands, to uproot their trees and prevent them from cultivating their fields.
I cannot completely understand Palestinian women or their suffering. I don’t know how I would have survived such humiliation, such disrespect from the whole world. All I know is that the voice of mothers has been suffocated for too long in this war-stricken planet. Mothers’ cry is not heard because mothers are not invited to international forums such as this one. This I know and it is very little. But it is enough for me to remember these women are my sisters, and that they deserve that I should cry for them, and fight for them. And when they lose their children in strawberry fields or on filthy roads by the checkpoints, when their children are shot on their way to school by Israeli children who were educated to believe that love and compassion are race and religion dependent, the only thing I can do is stand by them and their betrayed babies, and ask what Anna Akhmatova–another mother who lived in a regime of violence against women and children–asked: Why does that streak of blood, rip the petal of your cheek?
Hindustan Times


(21 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)

Azhar Hussain Reply:
July 5th, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Rajiv you love deviate from subject and interject your recist thaughts in it. This article is about the illegal entity called Israel and all you people shamelessly support it.
Read it again and again, it might remind you something closer to home, hea right KASHMIR. Same exact thing going in your backyard you shameless creature
[Reply]
Raju Kurien Reply:
July 5th, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Azhar
Rajiv is absolutely right about what he stated.
And what about Kashmir? The terrorists you created to make havoc in Kashmir are finally after u! What a poetic justice…
Get a life; take Pakistan out of its sorry and miserable state..Pakistan needs all the ehlp it can get; unless u want to ignore (and make sure there is no country any more) and focus on Kashmir
[Reply]
Sal Reply:
July 5th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
@Raju Kurein
Let me remind you abt UN resolutions on Kashmir which were proposed by your Chacha Nehro and then you betrayed….The truth is Kashmiris dont want to live with India…
And you better care of your own country called India…
mugan Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 9:59 am
Absolutely shaken. A courageous and saintly person and a symbol of humanity. The EU members would and should have felt shame to be reminded about what a human being truly is. But will they change- these hardened and superiority infected beings who put different values to different lives. Thanks for the post.
Raju kurien Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Sal
We are caring about our country. That is why it is now in G20; its children are doing wonders for the world. Your children are self immolating.. Youa re tarining your 15-25 to kill others while we are training world class computer analysts.
Take a moment of your life and think –why your country is going down the drain, and India, with all its difficulties -languages, religions, lifestyles, caste groups etc – is thriving?
Sal Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 12:55 am
@Raju Karien
Look..No one is stupid…India’s inclusion in G20 is beacuse of India’s GDP and India’s GDP has to to do with its over 1.20 billion of population..India’s GDP is high beacuse of its huge population….
There is another view to analyze the impact of sucha huge population which is 35% of World’s poors lived in your beloved country called India which makes her world’s largest country of poors on planet….and this is a fcat…
There is another figure here….42.5% of India lives under poverty line in year 2005 while only 17% of Pak lives under poverty line in a year 2007. Both references are taken from World Bank….
If there is a group of poors countries…India will be the first one to join that group.
where do you stand now..
MJ Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 10:43 am
@Sal
Stupidity must be a common trait in all P-A-K-I-S which is reflected in your reply about GDP!
Have you ever heard of Japan, UK and their GDP data! M sure not! You must have known about GDP of UAE vis-a-vis its population!
Go Educate yourself first then come and comment here!
Sal Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
@MJ
Japan and UK too have big GDP and they have less population so trheir Per Capita Income is many many times better than your PCI…
Usman Chaudhry Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 1:32 am
Dear Mr Sharma,
Greetings. What a beautiful and heart breaking piece you have put forth. Indeed injustice brings voilence and more cruel and harsh sufferings. I thank you for spearding the word and equate the same respect to your forwarding it as for Dr Nurit’s speech that was actually delievered. God bless you and the lady.
Regards,
Usman
[Reply]
Sal Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 2:38 am
Agreed
DG Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 8:35 am
Take the men out and reduce the intensity of hatred. Though it is a muddled bunch of emotions but the facts are true though biased. It seems that the emotions are one sided.
The emotions are there on both sides and both depise each other. There was a period of lull and due to the severe terrorism acts of the Islamic fundamentalists, the saner world order is forced to react. Any reaction is painful and it takes time to reach next level of equilibrium.
Ability to live together is the need of the hour. Muslim wants exclusivity wherever ther gain sizeable footprint.
I respect the article from the view point of motherhood (which cust across all divides) but the emotional appeal on the political side is naive at the best.
Sana Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 8:45 am
This is by far the most amazing post that Ive read, its hardcore honest and very touching. It shows that when women are asked to speak up, they can change the world with their words.
I thank Mr. Sharma for sharing such a wonderful note with all of us.
sam monen Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 8:44 am
Agreed
jojo Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 10:02 am
great article.its always women who suffers most whether it is a war or execution of feudal judgements.
@$$ Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 9:07 am
@ azhar,
this article is not about Israel being an illegal entity. if you read it clearly it is about the apathy seen world over and reasons of killing each other for something not known (in case of Muslims) and something known (in case of Jews and Christians) and so many other known and unknowns.
This is a Jewish mother who is expressing her pain through the pain of her so called enemy (sic). if you can still find out the issue of legality of Israel i am amazed. please if you do so don’t put your name otherwise the misconception that Muslims are intolerant by nature gets a boost (which anyways everybody else is?)
[Reply]
arindam halder Reply:
July 6th, 2010 at 11:16 am
My dearest Azhar and Sal…
Great to see you guys commenting on INDIAN blogs..
Well Mr Sal you don’t need to teach us what chacha Nehru did .You should be concerned about your Qid-e-Azam.
Well what is happening in Kashmir you tell me?Before you guys started exporting Terrorism Kashmir was just like any other state with Army only on the borders .Mind you I don’t condone any wrong act being done by anyone but look at the larger picture.You created some remote-controlled monsters who are now biting their own master’s hand and are out of control.Olease explain to me what the pakistani army is doing in SWAT ?I guess they are playing gulli-danda with the terrorists.
Get a life.India has in place the institutions to take care of all adversities.You first set your home in order
[Reply]
Sal Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 1:04 am
@Arindam…
Sorry Arindam…..Chacha Nehro’s blunders cannot be ignored…Just look what happened today in Kashmir…You army had been called to move out Srinagar….
Your Nehro went Kashmir and gave aproposal of holding a plebescite and then Nehro betrayed….Plebescite in Kashmir didnt occur beacuse what would be the result of that Kashmir and what answers kashmiris willto you in the plebescite..So Chacha Nehro’s action caanot be ignored regarding Kashnir..Pak dont care what Nehro did in India…This is not our concern but Kashmir is not part of India..
And as far as Swat is concerned, army operations has finihed a year ago and it lasted just 2 months…and the people over there are very much happy beacuse they got rid of Taliban….
Pak dont care Maoist, Red Corridor or India’s huge social problems like Dalit, minorities but Kashmir is something we cannot ignore.
Sam Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
india should have kept the 93,000 pak soldiers, until kashmir was resolved.
what stopped india from conducting nuremberg like trials on islamic thugs who committed 3 million deaths in bangladesh ?
those surrendered army leaders who were involved in the genocide, should have been hanged
Vinay Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
@Azhar,
It is really cruel on Indian part to have occupied Kashmir and not giving them independence to choose. By the way, how about you ? You also have occupied Kashmir, don’t you? Did you ever give them a chance to decide by themselves? When you do it and win, you have all the right to mock at India. Till then, better to be quiet.
@Sal,
“And as far as Swat is concerned, army operations has finished a year ago and it lasted just 2 months…and the people over there are very much happy because they got rid of Taliban….”
Unfortunately, Kashmiris are not able to get rid of the terrorist flow from you. Once they are stopped, they will also be relieved. No terrorists.. no army.. they can get back to what they were in early 80s. You just have to take rest from too much bothering. It serves your health and others health as well.
@Vinod Sharma
Article is touching, though at parts I felt it was dramatic.
“This daily physical and mental torture of women who are deprived of their basic human rights and needs of privacy and dignity, women whose homes are broken into at any moment of day and night, who are ordered at a gun-point to strip naked in front of strangers and their own children….”
If it is real, it is brutal. If not, she is one more Arundhati Roy. (I care for the tragedy in her life though).