Coalgate chronicles



It’s called the black gold
For it’s value, we are told
But there’s more to it than energy
When in steps our CAG

The accountant extraordinary
Can cook up a spicy curry
Of anything the State spends
- -whether it borrows or lends

Spectrum or ore, coal or oil
The CAG can make politics boil
The government and the bureaucracy
with him just can’t take it easy.

You see a government that’s good
At times play like Robin Hood
Or tax Peter to pay Paul
to manage spring’s errors in fall

This CAG, bad chap, does not understand
Pores over his books, and waves his wand
Hey presto! In come television crews
To find who’s cooking a corruption stew!

Wasteful expenditure is a smaller sin
The spendthrift trip can be for the bin
But when it comes to national resources
His horses run on dangerous courses

No largesse, or quiet allocation
In the greater cause of the Nation
Will be tolerated by the CAG
“Bad sport!” they say. “He’s so crazy”

Now, what happens to socialism, our pet theme
When the CAG says someone ate the cream
So what if some tycoons get a good deal?
One man’s subsidy is another man’s steal.

The CAG, smart bloke, insists on auctions
Wants explanations on every action
Preaches this thing they call transparency
To rulers who insist on state secrecy

The venerable accountant, bless his soul
May finely pick the government’s holes
But someone tell him, “It’s all a matter of policy”
When the media din dies, they may fix him at the SC

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