Whenever the lofty critic slams a movie
The director is upset but still feels groovy
This is the strange way of our Bollywood
When critics say “bad”, fans go “jolly good”
There is thing about Rupees One Hundred Crore
When a movie rakes it, it is not a big bore
You see the well-heeled media is not an example
They are smart and sharp but not a good sample
It is the Great Unwashed that must approve the flick
And our Farahs and Johars know their tricks
The intellectuals and their friends — the critics
Do not understand the minds of simple slapsticks!
Ka-ka-ka-Kiran and SRK’s swoons
Hrithik’s quick steps and Sallu’s dishooms
Six-pack jhatkas and frilly matkas:
They’re not for cigar-wallahs but for the gutkhas.
Oh darling, yeh hai India, where tastes are funny
The guys you laugh at are right on the money
Like the buffoon neta who gets all the votes
These guys know how to chhapo those notes!
While film fest awards may go unsung
The sadak-chhap janta loves “Dabang!”
The snooty writer may call it dung
But by a long rope her review is hung!
The fans out there find critics pretentious
Their views in the front stalls are pretty contentious
The gestures impress them and style makes them drool
The producer sahib knows this is paisa-vasool!
So don’t make a song and dance about song and dance
There is a design in Bollywood, not luck by chance
The critic’s “Two Stars” may fetch some friends
But the Hundred Crore may show him “The End!”