The love that dare not speak its name



The issue: Nehru-Edwina

The soundtrack: Tainted love

So the proposed Hollywood movie on the love affair between Chacha Nehru and Edwina Madam will never be out in a cinema near you.The official reason cited is that the film’s producers don’t have the necessary shekels — to the tune of a humble $40 million — in these times of economic slowdown and that the Indian government’s restrictions on key scenes that make a love story a love story in 21st cinema hasn’t made it easier for director Joe Wright to pitch it to Universal Studios. Well, if those are the reasons, I may have a solution.

Quite understandably, the Indian government’s version of the film would have shown two birds twittering on a branch — or, if it was keen on showing how adult-like it has become since the days of the Films Division of India, two flowers touching each other in the breeze.

Quite understandably too, Universal Studios wants to “make more of the love story”, perhaps with Kate Blanchett, who was supposed to play Edwina, telling the actor (Irrfan Khan?), who was supposed to play Nehru, lines like, “Is that the Mountbatten Plan in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

But both these silly obstacles of money and officialese can be removed in one stroke if Mr Wright – or, for that matter, Mr Wrong, or anyone else wishing to take a crack at the Nehru-Edwina love story — makes a digital film, making costs tumble down and uploads the movie on the Internet. The YouTube formula can actually make great business sense considering that the buzz created by such a film has already been made.

Considering the heady stuff I see on the internet seeing Nehru-Edwina snogging away on a YouTube video will be quite romantic as well as historic. I can already hear the music in the background – to highlight the Indian government’s notion of the ‘relationship’ – 80s synthpop band Soft Cell’s sinister cover of Gloria Jones’ Tainted love.

Neither can the Indian government block this avenue of creative expression — unless, of course, it wants to be seen being as paranoid as the Chinese — nor will there be a problem shoring up the cash to make this film. While Nehru’s signature rose from his pocket drops on the carpet while the Soft Cell singer Marc Almond sings: Sometimes I feel I’ve got to run away/ I’ve got to get away/ From the pain you drive into the heart of me./ the love we share seems to go nowhere.

So remember, someone has the problems, I’ll have the solutions. Especially when it concerns the matter of love between our public boys and girls.

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  • Ramesh Talwani

    A NATION WHO HAS PERSON LIKE KAPIL SIBAL AS EDUCATION MINISTER,WHO CAN LIE ON 2G SCAM -ZERO LOSS THEORY OR HANDLING BABA RAMDEV ,WHO HAS SUCH A LOW CREDIBILITY – COULDNOT GETOUT OF HIS CAR IN CHANDNI CHOWK SHOULD BETTER QUIT EDUCATION.
    WE NEED A SELF RESPECTING INDIAN WITH PRIDE IN INDIAN ETHOS.
    HE SHOULD BETTER GET BACK TO HIS LEGAL PRACTICE RATHER THAN PLAYING WITH FATE OF BILLION INDIAN CHILDERN.

    [Reply]

    ANUJDUBAI1979 Reply:

    SHAME ON THESE CORRUPT POLITICIANS…THEY AND THEIR FAMILIES WILL ROT IN HELL..ALL POLITICIANS ARE PLAYING TRICKS TO STOP ANNA’S AND TEAM FROM BRINGING THE JAN LOKPAL BILL. IF THIS COMES, A STUDY SAYS 93% OF POLITICIANS WILL BE ARRESTED AND JAILED. CONGRESS IS THE WORST CORRUPT PARTY. IN AN ARTICLE IN SWISS TIMES, THE BALCK MONEY LIST IS SAID TO INCLUDE THE NAMES OF ROBERT WADHERA( PRIYANKA GANDHI HUSBAND), lALU YADAV, KAPIL SIBBAL, KARUNANIDHI, SONIA GANDHI, RAHUL GANDHI. THEY ARE PLAYING DIRTY TRICKS TO SAVE THEMSELVES. CONGRESS CANNOT WIN ANY ELECTIONS NOW. THEY ARE HISTORY. THEY AHVE PAID MONEY TO NDTV AND STAR NEWS TO RUN RUMORS AGAINST TEAM ANNA. CONGRESS HAS ALSO ASKED ITS WORKERS TO GO ONLINE AND POST AGAINST AGAINST TEAM ANNA TO KILL LOKPAL ISSUE AND BREAK THE TEAM. MY FELLOW CITIZENS, WAKE UP AND RISE AGAINST THIS DIRTY GAMES..CONGRESS IS STILL SLEEPING..PEOPLE KNOW THE TRUTH NOW..YOU CANNOT STOP TEAM ANNA NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY OR DO…

    [Reply]

    Goga2116 Reply:

    i agree with u, Ramesh

    [Reply]

  • Spicierboar

    He is confused. Why will they reinvest if they can’t take it home? What about the millions of jobless youth this will further create?What about small to medium sized cities that do not have enough quality institutes?What will they teach?Acceptability of such degrees in India?

    [Reply]

  • Rocky

    Harvard, Yale, Stanford have a great business model. They sock the rich and give scholarships to the deserving poor. Similar model will work very well in India. However, corrupt Indian politician want bribes which these premeir institutions simply would not entertain. It is a loss for India.

    [Reply]

  • sab chalta hai

    after the summit we will know who to bribe and then do whatever…Harvard, Princeton etc. will raise the standards too high and will make it difficult for the local traders to compete…kya zaroorat hai yaar… aam admi ko zyada khwaab dikhana thik nahi… just as we are happy to be a super power with potholed roads, we will be happy to be a superpower with tri vally type universities or whatever the local neta sees fit for us to have…

    [Reply]

  • Guest

    Just as a mule is a cross-breed between a horse and a donkey, ‘indians/pakistanis/bangladeshis/sri lankans’ are cross-breeds between Aryan and Dravidian (austral-african, black, negrito).

    These half-black indians have an avg IQ of 82 while europeans/asians are 100 or more. 85% of the sub-continent cannot even read. Only, africans are in the 80s IQ range.

    Having built a mega slum civilisation, is proof enough.

    So, let’s keep the expectations real.

    [Reply]

  • Dalit Panther

    God Help India. BJP you need to be against this. This is going to be very bad. Please save us.

    [Reply]

  • Ag

    Kapil Sibal is destroying the education system in India. Since IITs used to have global recognition (no thanks to Sibal), he is creating IITs all over the place. Mind you, there aren’t enough teachers or infrastructure, so this will inevitably lead to falling standards and destruction of the IIT brand. The slide has already started, as you can see from the admission fracas and you can hear from IIT teachers, just that the foreigners do not know about that yet. Contrast this with Harvard, which almost never takes a step that would dilute its brand.

    Sibal’s philosophy of more is creating more mediocrity. He is too cocky about India – India has no innovation and no significant products in the market. India’s IT sector is good only for exporting cheap labor to other countries – an advantage that is quickly been neutralized by China, Asia-Pacific and eastern European countries.

    [Reply]

  • ANUJDUBAI1979

    SHAME ON THESE CORRUPT POLITICIANS…THEY AND THEIR FAMILIES WILL ROT IN HELL..ALL POLITICIANS ARE PLAYING TRICKS TO STOP ANNA’S AND TEAM FROM BRINGING THE JAN LOKPAL BILL. IF THIS COMES, A STUDY SAYS 93% OF POLITICIANS WILL BE ARRESTED AND JAILED. CONGRESS IS THE WORST CORRUPT PARTY. IN AN ARTICLE IN SWISS TIMES, THE BALCK MONEY LIST IS SAID TO INCLUDE THE NAMES OF ROBERT WADHERA( PRIYANKA GANDHI HUSBAND), lALU YADAV, KAPIL SIBBAL, KARUNANIDHI, SONIA GANDHI, RAHUL GANDHI. THEY ARE PLAYING DIRTY TRICKS TO SAVE THEMSELVES. CONGRESS CANNOT WIN ANY ELECTIONS NOW. THEY ARE HISTORY. THEY AHVE PAID MONEY TO NDTV AND STAR NEWS TO RUN RUMORS AGAINST TEAM ANNA. CONGRESS HAS ALSO ASKED ITS WORKERS TO GO ONLINE AND POST AGAINST AGAINST TEAM ANNA TO KILL LOKPAL ISSUE AND BREAK THE TEAM. MY FELLOW CITIZENS, WAKE UP AND RISE AGAINST THIS DIRTY GAMES..CONGRESS IS STILL SLEEPING..PEOPLE KNOW THE TRUTH NOW..YOU CANNOT STOP TEAM ANNA NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY OR DO…

    [Reply]

  • Shyam Chand

    If we are not getting the best of the international universities, it is not worth rolling out the carpet to the mediocre.

    [Reply]

  • http://www.blurbpoint.com/link-building-services.php Link Building Services

    Only spending lots of money and to build the colleges and universities is not the enough thing and to make education globally is not required. Instead of this , people of India need to get the such education by which they can get the own growth and not the money growth. And the leader like kapil sibbal can see the education only with the money benefits point of view and not interested to update the current education system.

    [Reply]

  • Nidheesh Manu

    Dear Shafat,

    As an Indian I am ashamed of the atrocities we commit in Kashmir and the North East. As a citizen of India it is my responsibility to showcase dissent and act against them. Having said that, these are internal issues that we Indians have to deal with. You have more pressing concerns in your backyard – go figure.

    On the other hand if your intention is genuinely to act of as a voice for the downtrodden then lets do that in a civilised man. Take the lead or walk amongst us;we will gladly welcome you to our midst.

    This whole Indo – Pak story has become one of ‘my dick being bigger than yours’…Its adolescent and the bravado is fleeting.

    Lets try and behave and get along.

    Cheers,
    Nidheesh Manu

    [Reply]

  • Nidheesh

    India’s internal problems are not because of the Muslims who stayed behind. I wish we Indians wouldn’t talk in such terms.

    [Reply]

  • Neeta

    “His followers and other militants spread a trail of terror all over
    Punjab, specifically targeting Hindus. Buses would be stopped. Hindus
    would be separated from Sikhs and shot dead in cold blood. Prominent
    Hindus were assassinated. Funds were raised through robberies and
    extortion. Women were kidnapped and kept prisoner for the sexual
    gratification of militants. Bombs were placed in public places to kill
    innocent civilians. Moderate Sikhs were threatened and murdered.” – Hindus were separated from Sikhs and murdered?! There is literally no evidence of that! Sikh extremists did not target civilians, they targetted politicians some of whom were even Sikh like Beant Singh

    [Reply]

    Impi Reply:

    LIAR! I grew up in those times and I remember clearly. So do most moderate Hindus and Sikhs. It was in the news everyday. The period from 1982 to 1984 is dark in my memory. How did you miss it?

    Sikhs act like the government lost its mind and attacked the Golden Temple.

    It is only when KPS Gill and Beant Singh came in that Sikh militants were killed in encounters, that’s when collateral damage happened and innocent Sikhs were also killed alongside.

    This is a well written piece Mr. Sanghvi and I know you extend the same logic to Delhi and Gujarat riots.

    [Reply]

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