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When cops asked me,’ Don’t you have men in office?’
The recent molestation of a teenager in Mumbai by the self-claimed proponents of moral ethics shook me badly. Like others, I also admired the fact that women were safe in the dream city, whatever the time of the day or night it may be. Still shocking was the fact that the culprits were members of Maharashtra Navnirman Sena. Eu Tu! I privately thought.
While in Mumbai I had heard their roar against bhaiyas for messing up Mumbai’s law and order. But the Maharashtra Nav Nirman Sena could never scare the north Indian in me? But it did hurt my pride when my Mumbaikar friends used to contemptuously ask me, “Can you travel in the night in the bhaiyaland?” My cryptic reply often was, “ Why not?” Sometimes I taunted them, ” Safety in Mumbai comes more from the crowds on the streets, and not the culture you people glorify.”
Sometimes I would share with them what’s written below to make them shut up.
It was a massacre by dacoits right in the heart of the ravines. There were no roads, kucha or pucca as the village was located on the riverbank. And I had to cover it. I reached Auraiya in a rickety ambassador car (it was early 1990’s) early morning and drove straight to the residence of the Senior Superintendent of Police. His ruffled looks told me he had not slept. He looked at me as if the worst had come.
“What! You want to go to the village?” he yelled. “We have enough problems, please don’t add to them.” Realising I was not the one to budge so easily, he said, “Do you have any idea how dangerous the ravines are? Look there is no road. We were told last night that some minister might come. So we are trying to make one through the jungle, houses ——.” His words did not convince me to return to Lucknow without doing the Page one story.
“Ok, if you have to go, then take our jeep instead of your car. I can’t have you spending your night amidst wild animals and dacoits.” So my 18-km-long journey started with four armed cops accompanying me. Soon I started feeling the pain of an awful ride — there were bruises on my arms that started bleeding, the jeep was throwing me out, sometimes sharply tripping over to the side that I could touch the ground. This was when I heard some harsh words from the back, “ Can you hold our rifles? When we can’t help ourselves, how are we going to protect you? You never know the dacoits may be hiding somewhere in the jungle!”
That was enough to make me cry. I held back my tears while assuring the cop, “Nothing of that sort would happen.” That cooled his tempers as he asked, “Don’t you have men in your office that they have sent a girl to such a dangerous place.”
I have not looked back since then. That one trip emboldened me to travel extensively through out the state, during the day, during the night. And has not given up till date. Jai Ho Bhaiyaland !
(8 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ...Posted by Sunita Aron on Tuesday, July 28, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Filed under India · Tagged bhaiyaland, dacoits, MNS, molestation, moral ethics, self-claimed proponents
it was a treat to read this piece.This actually strengthens a woman’s or a girl’s will to stand against all odds & achieve something.Hope more women read this and gain inspiration.
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sunita Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 12:10 am
thanks Srishty
I think girls have come a long way from the days of purdah ( even Hindus had) and there is no way to stop them. I took inspiration from some, and I will be more than happy to inspire others. I don’t want to sound pompous, but when I took charge of editorship of the paper way back in 2001, I was told I was the first woman to head a newspaper in bhaiyaland. now there are so many doing much much better than what I did so happy days are here
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Srishty Grover Reply:
August 6th, 2009 at 8:47 am
really nice to know……i actually get inspired by people like you because in our country, especially in Northern India or what you call bhaiyaland, lot of people have the attitude of ‘chalta hai’, most women don’t bother about their self-respect.
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sunita Reply:
August 6th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Srishty ,
Yes this chalta hai attitude is bringing us down. as for women they should fight for their right, for their self respect. And they are doing so , in their own little way.
I am from UP but have lived very liitle there. When I came to UP as a grownup, it was a cultural shock for me. I found most of the people crude and somewhat dishonest in their behaviour. I still hold same opinion about MY Bhaiyyas however Bhaiyyas have yet to stoop to the level to Raj Thackray. Despite all provocation by Raj Thackray, Bhaiyyas did not harm marathis living in bundelkhand and kanpur region. I am pretty sure Thackray knows about Peshwa’s connection to Kanpur.
Despite all its shortcoming, UP wallas will never bash anybody over Bhaiyya Asmita, Bhaiyya language or Bhaiyya food.
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sunita Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 12:13 am
Hi Rajeev
do you know there is a mini maharashtra right in the heartland of bhaiyaland - in varanasi and believe me no one ever asked them why you are living here — but then the problem in mumbai is different - people are going in droves , it certainly pressures the infrastructure but then MNS concern is hardly that– they just want to play on Marathi sentiments
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Thank you Sunita for this piece. We in bhaiyyaland are the new Muslims of India. Everyone is willing to take a shot, let alone that king of thugs, Raj Thackeray, and to think that one can learn culture from such people. Pass me my hemlock.
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Rajeev Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Don’t insult Bhaiyyas by comparing them to muslims. The muslims are known to indulge in violence starting from exploding bombs to supporting pak against India. The muslims have not done a single thing since 1947 to build peaceful India. They are born victims and always cribbing.
The Bhaiyyas have never done anything like that.
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Amit Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
I think you got it wrong, Rajeev. I meant Bhaiyas are like muslims in the way that India is treating them. This is not to say that they are victims in all cases. I think you are overreacting in painting all muslims of India because of very few idiots. This is precisely the generalization that Biharis or UPites suffer from when they venture outside their home state. Someone like Raj Thackeray uses the same logic while painting every Bihari or UPite with the same brush. And, please do not characterize the muslim community of India with such simplistic generalizations. That just so wrong on so many fronts.
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Rajeev Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Amit,
Have you seen any Bhaiyya exploding bomb in maharashtra just because marathis bashed them?
What have muslim doing? They go around killing people with silent support from their community.
You can live in denial as our ancestors lived. They had to see the partition of India and we will witness total dis-integration of India if we keep our heads buried in Sand.
Remember had not allied power crush Nazism, we would be living in Hitler’s world full of msutard gas and starvation.
The muslim ideology is no different from Nazism. Once they become majority, they will exterminate or convert non muslims (as they did in whole of middle east, persia, central asia and in recent history pakistan and bangladesh).
I know Indians have been bitten by peace bug, you will just dismiss my views but these are not my views but reflection of history that will repeat itself.
sunita Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 12:17 am
Amit /Rajeev
I don’t agree with such sweeping statements. I know the best of Muslims. Just because majority of bombers come from the Muslim community , it won’t be proper to brand all of them—whatever. I would like to quote Mahesh Bhatt when he said, All terrorists may be Muslims , but all Muslims are not terrorists.
Perhaps I failed to drive home the point I was making — simply women are safe in bhaiyaland also , its not all that bad
Amit Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 12:33 am
Sunita,
Well, Rajeev is the culprit. I agree with you, entirely.
Rajeev Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
We will see a Jinnah soon if we don’t nip this in the bud.
I cried when 26/11 happened but after looking at MMS and people like Amit, I guess Indians are getting used to 26/11 kind of incident. If it happens again, I won’t even bother following it.
well besides the argument of Bhaiyyas… we all know why Raj Thackeray was suddenly so concerned about marathi. This is a classic old trick employed by congress throughout independent India’s history
divide and rule. They did that by helping Shiv Sena come up to kill the communist stronghold. and now MNS to kill Shiv Sena in traditional Shiv Sena bastions like Thane, Navi Mumbai. And pseudo intellectuals keep on arguing and fighting on how wrong this is. this is POLITICS people….. where everything goes.
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sunita Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 12:19 am
Yes Alec , I agree with you here that it was Congress that propped up MNS– they wanted to divide the Marathi vote. And to assuage the hurt feelings of bhaiyas they appointed a helpless kripa shanker singh as mumbai president. Lets see how far that would help the cong– elections are not far in maharashtra.
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but i like the article. the men in UP must be squirming by the thought of a woman doing a man’s job
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Amit Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 6:14 am
Well Mayawati would make anyone squirm: Men, women, and ..
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sunita Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Hi
let us not call anyone clulprit, in fact we all are victims of the main culprits
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sunita Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 12:20 am
Alec/Amit
Its a common saying Maya is the only man wearing the boots in the entire cabinet
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Nice one, Mrs.Aron. I agree with you completely. Having been born in rural UP and raised in Lucknow, I know the pros and cons of life there. And believe me, it is not all that much different than the rest of the country. People just need to find a scapegoat to glorify their own State, or their own culture.
Bombay is not as safe as everyone makes it out to be. I spent 3 months there in 2007 doing an internship, and had many eve-teasing incidents. Most while standing at a bus-stop in the not-so-shabby Juhu-Versova area. And before any holier-than-thou man can point a finger, let me assure you I was wearing loose fitting salwar suits every time it happened. So much so for “if it happened, you must have brought it upon yourself”.
@Amit/Rajeev - Muslims have been a scapegoat in this entire mockery of secularism that our country has become today. I hope to God you are not from Lucknow or UP. Because then I would truly be ashamed to share my hometown with you. How dare you denigrate Muslims like that. You do nothing but expose your own immaturity, bigotry and complete ignorance of the world around you. Hindus and Muslims have lived amicably and peacefully for the most part in Lucknow for centuries. No one is denied housing simply because of their religion. My immediate next-door neighbours for the past 30 years are Muslims, and I love them dearly. They are like my family. Similarly I know of hundreds of Hindus who live in Chowk, Aminabad, Hussainganj and other “Muslim-centiric” localities which you would assume to house only Muslims.
And lest I forget, which community in Orissa was SO religiously intolerant that they burnt ALIVE a Christian missionary and his little boy? I dont remember any Hindus being involved in that attack. And which community was it that bombed the hell out of Malegaon?
As for the Thackeray family and their ilk, well, they are a blot on India’s civil society.
And just for the record, I abhor the word “bhaiya”. I think it is as denigrating as “nigger”(for African-Americans), “katua” (for Muslims), “coconut”(for Americans of Indian origin) and “banana” (for Americans of Asian origin). Why, you ask? Because no one ever uses it to praise you. It is always used as an insult. To imply that the State and all its residents are hindi-speaking hicks. After having been subjected to that epithet “bhaiyyan” in Delhi for 5 years, I have had my fill of this kind of bigotry.
May God be with all you bigots and racists. Remember, every dog has its day. Yours is coming soon.
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Ashima Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
oops! I used “Hindus” instead of “Muslims” in the second line. This is the correct para:
And lest I forget, which community in Orissa was SO religiously intolerant that they burnt ALIVE a Christian missionary and his little boy? I dont remember any Muslims being involved in that attack. And which community was it that bombed the hell out of Malegaon?
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Rajeev Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:32 pm
You can live in Denial but you will be forced to recite kalma once muslims cross 40% mark in India.
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Rajeev Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 pm
By the Way, I do agree Lucknow muslims are better and you know why because majority of them are Shias.
Can you say the same for kanpur muslims?
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Ashima Reply:
August 12th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
I may be living in denial according to you. But I have seen many in a bigot in my day, and you Sir, are up there with the best of them.
Are you the kind that thinks that every Indian who is a Muslim is a secret Pakistan supporter? I think you are.
Are you the kind that always suspects anyone who is not “obviously” Hindu? I think you are.
All your posts reek of sheer bigotry and ignorance. Who are you to pass judgment on if Shias are better or Sunnis? And if Lucknow Muslims are better than Kanpur Muslims? What kind of a juvenile statement is that?
It is people like you, who may well succeed in dividing this country if all you can see in a fellow countryman is his religion or his race or his language.
Taking a cue from you, let me make a juvenile statement of my own. “I think you are in collusion with those Chinese that are determined to see India fragmented on the basis of religion, caste, culture and language”. That is about as credible as making a statement that says:
“By the Way, I do agree Lucknow muslims are better and you know why because majority of them are Shias. Can you say the same for kanpur muslims?”
Amit Reply:
August 4th, 2009 at 4:38 am
Ashima, I guess you meant Rajeev as a target of your tirade. I wasn’t denigrating anyone, just mentioning the treatment of Bhaiyyas as a close parallel to the way Muslims are characterized in some parts of our country.
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Ashima Reply:
August 12th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Amit, apologies for misconstruing your statement.
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sunita Reply:
August 6th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
I couldn’t have agreed with you more Ashima.
We have the same waivelength
yes no one is denied house in lko becos of religious background.
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For me, the word “Bhaiya” has always been a euphemistc term of endearment for people I was not close to. I grew up in a small town of Madhya Pradesh, and to me, this word has several manifestations.
It propounds the concept of brotherhood, it emanates a statement of trust, it acknowledges dignity of labour (milkmen, coolies, rickshaw drivers, paanwallah etc.) and teaches us to be thankful for the all the ameneties it gives us. In my travels across India, I have seen many variations to this theme, especially in the smaller towns.
Unfortunately it has been caricatured by people who do not undertand its ethos. And there are many more examples of other terms. I tend to believe this is more rampant in the Metros
But then, I will agree any day that smaller cities are much much safer for women.
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sunita Reply:
August 5th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Atul,
I agree with you hundred percent. Its better to address a person’ bhaiya’ than making all type of stupid sounds or whistle to call someone. That’s the way it is done in mumbai.
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When I look at India, I see it totally divided. The Indian seculars (so-called) like to blame BJP for division but let us look closely who is divinding India at every possible fault line.
1. Religion: Hindus and Others (including muslims) - Congress’s minority appeasement politics
2. Language: Indian states (UP/Bihar Vs maharashtra) - Congess with the help of MNS
3. Caste: Congress and allies by making reservation policy permanent.
4. Gender: Male-Female : Congress by making blind laws such as 498a and DV act.
Congress is dividing India the way ONION is chopped. It has now acquired the nature of MUSLIM leageue.
I am sure India will see another division either on religion or language within 25 years.
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sunita Reply:
August 5th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Rajeev,
Yes all politicians believe in creating a divide. Yet I don’t see another division of the country in decade t o come. My confidence comes from the fact that the youth is talking a different lingo. Their focus is more on their progress and prosperity, so they will not allow any impediment to slow it down. May it be Muslims, Hindus, Christians- the youth is thinking alike barring the few misguided ones.
I don’t understand why literate class should get ogged down with caste, communities. We had Abdul Kalam in office- he neither walked or talked like a muslim or a hindu — he simply talked about development and issues that bind us all.
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Rajeev Reply:
August 5th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Sunita,
You said-
‘Their focus is more on their progress and prosperity, so they will not allow any impediment to slow it down.’
This attitude is what is making us complacent and more self-centered. We are loosing the sight of bigger picture. We are surrounded by nations hostile to us and on top of that we have people in our country who are co-operating with these nation to destablise India.
The current day youth is devoid of any ideology and all they care for is some BPO job and booze in the evening. We are so unprepared for a war that China will have no problem reaching Delhi.
Even in US, people do care about progress and prosperity but it does not make them blind of threats to their country. You can see the difference between Indians and American when you do post 26/11 and 9/11 behaviour of two. Now our media hardly wants to talk about 26/11 and its cause plus remedies.
I was optimistic and still love India more than anything else but somehow India is loosing nationalism very fast.
The muslims are getting emboldened by cowardly response by majority and the day in not far when they will launch Direct Action day in every city of India and our so-called properity loving shallow youth will be caught pants down.
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Rajeev Reply:
August 5th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Also Abdul Kalam said ‘We should behave like a county of 1 billion people’ and he also said ‘Strength respects strength’.
Do you see India becoming a serious military power under corrupt congress govt.?
India has elevated pakistan to the status of victim of terror and it have downgraded India to the level of pakistan by acknowleding that India too is sponspor of terror just like pakistan.
sunita Reply:
August 6th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Rajeev,
I am not dismissing the seriousness of the problem. I am only against denigating the entire community for a handful of few misguided ones.
Yes there are issues with the foreign policy of the UPA government. But then the NDA also did not toe a different line.
There is a question mark on India becoming a serious mililary power under the corrupt governments, led by whosoever.
Rajeev Reply:
August 6th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Sunita,
If you remember correctly, India was considered a lighweight in International politics before NDA came to power. The NDA govt. had the courage to defy the P-5 and their double standards. It was only after Pokhran that world started treating India as serious military power. Before that even puny countries like canada, australia and new zealand (all under US N-umbrella) had audacity to preach India on N-policy.
If you come to immediate neighbours, NDA handled china pretty well, making them recognise Sikkim as part of India.
Talking about pakistan, NDA got betrayed by Musharraf after lahore bus peace initiative. When kargil happened, NDA brought it in open, went to war with Pakistan and forced Pakistan to back down by using skillful diplomacy with US. It made Mushy beg for dialogue (remember mushy walking to Atal for handshake). It was only after long wait (in years), Mushy got chance to come to Agra for peace talks but NDA did not allow him his way. The meeting failed without any JOINT statement.
Had congress been in power during Kargil, it would have skillfully hidden the **** intrusion and given excuse like ‘Not a blade of grass grows there’. It has been doing exactly this in Arunachal Pradesh. The pakistanis and their supporters have been bombing Indian cities regularly but what have we done. NOTHING..We have returned to peace talks just after 7 months after 26/11 without making pakistan budge from its position.
Pl. do not even compare foreign policy of UPA with NDA. The UPA govt. has been utter failure when it comes to terrorism and foreign policy. It is perhaps the only govt. in history that has soft attitude towards terrorism coming from particular community.
Well ,first of all kudos to you for putting the issues so brilliantly!Being born & brought up in bihar….and spent my last my two years of schooling in delhi & now reading in goa..{not far from mumbai though..}….I have experienced all the faces of this spat.But the issue that I think needs the great concern is that people from other parts should understand that we are not that bad enough.
Man by nature worsens sometimes but in general we don’t have any region centric specifications….Why in bhaiyaland would we feel insecure……After all it is all about how you think!
Another thing that needsattention is theWe only do have feeling that –India has nothing to offer us..this is a nation paralysed with political clashes,caste conflicts and other vested interests….Why is that some seasoned politicians speaks something that is offensive for the fairer sex but everyone just sees the remark against dalit.Our politicians has grown highly optimistic, they see spark in every moment to encash their reservation propaganda.And!what an irony when everyone makes tall claims regarding Women reservation,the other day political honcho is talking of repeating the great Greek mythology& the legendary Socrates death over the issue.Amidst efforts to glorify oneself Behen Jee is putting a good use of the debt ridden middle class people by erecting the role models. Politics seem to be a state affair & there cant be a better testification to this than the last rail budget.Why is that every time we people have to suffer only.When it comes to do something good for the public in general,government cites rising burden on the exchequer & fiscal deficits.We seriously need to understand that the quality that matters for the country can’t be obtained through granting reservations & adopting a dual interference policy in the matters of strategic importance be it petroleum or corporate affairs for that matter.Aren’t we guided by the age old whims & fancies when it comes to move toward something better.
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sunita Reply:
August 6th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Amitabh,
Thank You. I agree with you that there is a need to change the perception about bhaiyas and bhaiyaland. And this bhaiyas alone can do, by their hardwork and conduct. They have proved their mettle in Mumbai. Whatever Raj T may say, Mumbai runs today, becos bhaiyas slog. I have seen it myself and i am proud of that.
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dear madam
It was a really treat to read to your early days of journlism and the grit with which you decided to cover the story.
Yes not only in UP but almost all over the India the women are considered the weaker segment but of course time and again they have proved their mettle.
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Thank you so much Ishwaran Shree
Its high time they change their opinion about women, but the issue here is how far the hindi heartland is secured for women. despite reports of rape, molestation raining in, fact remains its not that ba
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It took you a lot to be there where you are! hats off !!
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I am from the Bhaiyyaland too. (And, yes, Delhi is really really bad for women. I wonder if it is not worse than Taliban. In Delhi the women are technically free to do as they please, but the moment they step out of their homes, someone will be ready to molest them. Age no bar.)
But in the Bhiayyaland women do not feel particularly unsafe. At least no more unsafe than men.
It is another matter that my area is not quite as remote as the one you mention.
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