Hindustan Times
The questions a foreigner has about Mumbai
Why is it that in Mumbai:-
Sandwiches are served with tomato ketchup and a weird green sauce.
Mumbaikars say (and write) ‘thrice’ and not ‘three times.’They also say (and write) ‘the same’ instead of ‘it’ and “I will revert’ and ‘do the needful’; rather than ‘I will get back to you and do as you have requested.’ Some of their emails are actually unintelligible.
In Barista, even if I am obviously sitting alone, I am given two spoons or two forks when I order a cake.
Rickshaws and taxis use horns as indicators and honk to indicate where they are going, instead of flashing an indicator.
Leases on homes are for 11 months and not 12.
Deposits are for 11 months and not one.
The night watchmen are fast asleep when you come back at 2am and not doing their job (of checking who is entering your Society building.)
There are no GPs (general practitioners) that act as family doctors who keep track of health, maintain your medical records and are aware of your medical history. Instead you have to see a series of different doctors, none of who maintain your medical records or are aware of your medical history.
Nightclubs and bars close at 1.30am and do not stay open 24 hours.
The dry cleaners are overstaffed with, say 10 people. One finds your clothes, one takes the receipt, one folds clothes, one wraps the clothes, one puts the money in the till, one does nothing, one gets shouted at, one irons clothes, one packs up clothes to go to the dhobi ghats, one is the manager who sits at a table and reads the newspaper and does nothing.
If I speak in English on the phone to, say a security guard at a company, or an official in the BMC or state government that doesn’t speak English, the person rudely hangs up the minute I start speaking in English, rather than politely saying in Hindi they don’t understand me.
People write ‘dat’ and ‘dee’ in texts.
There is no voicemail on mobiles.
Ring tones are pop songs.
Vacations are called privileged leave not holiday; days off are called casual leave.
People work during privileged leave, casual leave and sick leave.
My salary is called Cost to Company and consists of conveyance allowance, housing rent allowance etc and is not merely a single amount or a salary.
Employees have to do tax returns and their employers don’t do them for them.
Diet coke is far more expensive than normal coke.
Oxo cubes are not on sale.
Most shops don’t sell meat. Those staff in some shops that do sell meat, handle fresh meat in front of you using their hands without wearing gloves.
There are barely any supermarkets.
No one checks tickets on local trains.
Coffees are served with flavours and weird sickly stuff. People don’t drink it black.
Most cafes don’t have toilets.
No one uses maps or A to Z’s. Nor do rickshaws or taxis know road names and instead they operate using landmarks.
Taxi drivers claim they live in slums and have no money - and yet refuse to ply! (Unless they like the sound of the journey.) They spend most of the day asleep or reading a vernacular newspaper, turning down passengers…. (If they were so badly off, wouldn’t they be willing to take all passengers, wherever they wish to go? Only someone ‘rich’ could be as picky as they are …)
Dogs and cats lie on the streets without food and water and are not rescued by the RSPCA or equivalent.
Few people keep cats as pets. They only keep dogs.
When people are out of town they say they say they are ‘out of station.’
Newspapers are so cheap. The presenters and anchors on TV channels look like they have just completed secondary school, and are never over the age of 25.
India is perceived as a land of spirituality when in fact many Mumbakars are more concerned about the size of their car and their designer clothes, than whether they did a good deed that day or visited the Hare Krishna Temple.
Beggars beg (giving an image India is poor) when the truth is there are clearly jobs out there for them ! (plying taxis short journeys being one….)
The richest Mumbaikars prefer not to pay the cover charges to get into clubs, instead saying “Do you know who I am?” when they reach the gate; they are seen mostly at private parties where everything is free - rather than at a bar/club where there is a risk they may have to open their wallet.
Everyone ignores zebra crossings and pedestrians have no rights or right or way at all.
Instead pedestrians have to take their life in their hands every time they want to cross the road. Noone does anything about this and cars dominate the roads, honking at anyone or thing in their way. It can thus take 30 minutes to cross a road. Noone cares.
Taxis have no safety belts in the front or back, nor do rickshaws.
People on motorbikes (including the police) don’t wear helmets. Don’t they know they could get serious brain damage and/or die just from a mere accident and a helmet could save their life? Sometimes the driver has one but not the passenger on the back. Where is the logic in that?
Traffic does not budge, even when there are fire engines, or ambulances with sirens spinning round behind them. Instead drivers just stare ahead, pretending they can’t see or hear the siren. Meanwhile someone is potentially dying somewhere.
No one is lobbying for, say, an emergency lane throughout Mumbai for, say the exclusive use of emergency vehicles.
When the roads in Bandra get resurfaced or repaired, the construction workers (who are often barefoot, without helmets) dig huge holes and trenches, make a huge mess, pile up earth and stuff everywhere, don’t surround it with barriers or cones, and then leave it like that for weeks, while pedestrians have to walk past the eyesore, or worse, fall into the trench.
Construction workers are also so poorly paid that they have to sleep on the pavement next to the construction site. Their babies and kids wander around in dirty clothes begging; they cook and urinate on the roadside. They are not given proper protective gear to wear. Don’t the construction firms who exploit these people feel guilty?
You are not allowed to carry fruit or food, soft drinks or even vitamin tables when visiting someone in a private hospital.
Instead it is confiscated by the security guards.
About 100 couples regularly meet on motorbikes on the stretch to the Bandra Worli sealink (Bandra end) and stand 10 metres from each other in an embrace.
The eggs are sold at street-side shops are not kept in a fridge
Five star hotels employ ‘lavatory women’ who’s job it is to stand in the toilets and turn the tap for you and squeeze liquid soap onto your hand.
Most grocery food stores (Nature’s Basket and Hypercity excluded) keep items haphazardly piled up, sometimes hidden in the loft, so that staff have to climb a step ladder to reach the items… many items are not priced and it is a nightmare shopping for anything in these shops and no one has thought of displaying the goods in the shop in a more organised, attractive manner (Hypercity and Nature’s Basket excluded).
People have Mercedes cars, wear designer clothes and make-up and yet are not bothered the water from their tap isn’t safe to drink.
People sleep on the pavement and are not offered sate-funded homes to sleep in.
No one (neither citizen action groups, nor NGOs, nor the media, nor Bollywood) is lobbying the central or state government to a) make healthcare free at point of delivery to all; b) ensure ambulances can get to any accident in five minutes; c) make not having and not wearing seat belts against the law; d) make not wearing helmets on motorbikes against the law; e) build zebra crossings everywhere and make failing to stop at one a crime.
Why can’t someone lobby for these things first, rather than worry about whether Katrina Kaif is dating Salman Khan, what Shilpa Shetty did at her wedding, and whether shop signs are written in Hind or Marathi?
(15 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
Loading ...Posted by Naomi Canton on Wednesday, November 25, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Filed under Mumbai · Tagged Barista, beaurocracy, home deposits, Mumbai, Mumbaikars, Ngo, Rickshaws, taxis
Very well written Naomi….these are the question every Indian asks of his city….infact if you remove the last marathi part, it would be a description of Delhi.
One more thing, I have been working in Hyderabad for last two years, and it seems that snobbiness is only a metro thing. I don’t see people flaunting names to get into nightclubs, there is better traffic sense, people in general are nicer, and definitely more calmer than my delhi (effectively Punjabi) counterparts, and there is a greater social sense. But sandwiches are served with cocunut sauce
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Naomi Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Hey, even I have noticed that cities like Pune and Ahmedabad are well ahead of Mumbai in terms of infrastructure, cleanliness and politeness of the people. Plus in those places ( as well as Chandigarh) you never see beggars, the roads are perfectly made, people drive properly and within the lanes; they live in spacious houses with gardens….It is so weird that Mumbai is touted as the financial capital (and second to the capital ) and yet in many ways the city is worse off than tier II cities in India..I wonder why it is… I haven’t visited Hyderabad, but would love to. I’ve heard great things about the place.
My favourite place in the whole of India, by the way, is Cochin in Kerala. I just love that place. It is so tranquil and peaceful and clean and organised, yet by the sea…I love wandering around there, checking out the shops and cafes,, There are some beautiful old buildings and bungalows, the air is fresh and hardly any traffic. People are pleasant too.
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BR Reply:
December 25th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Naomi
I send across my best wishes for a very happy and prosperous Christmas and New Year 2010 as well.
I enjoy reading your write ups and appreciate your adaptability to Indian way of life
May all your dreams and wishes come alive the days ahead
Have a nice time and keep writing as usual lovely articles
Three cheers to INDIA-UK special friendship
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Excellent post. I can clarify a few:
- The weird green sauce is chutney… u must know this ofcourse. Usually a a thin almost liquid paste of mint leaves & green chillies.
- The cabbies dont travel short distances, cos the fare doesnt cover the cost of taking u there.
- All these phrases ‘out of station,’ ‘the same,” etc. are from colonial times. One can only assume the British in India used to speak like this.
- Casual leave is like taking a personal day, where u r not on vacation, nor r u sick. This is when u just don’t feel like working, or have to use it for personal things like take ur wife out on a date, wait for the electrician to show up, etc.
-The richest pricks r usually well-known & consider it the club’s privilege to be graced with their presence. The cover charges at these clubs r for keeping “undesirables” out & not necessarily a primary source of income (thats the outrageously priced drinks).
- Traffic doesn’t budge for ambulances if there’s no one inside. Indians have yet to realize that the ambulance needs to get to a dying person asap as well & hence the siren.
- There r not as many supermarkets cos ur local vegetable vendor who’s been selling fresh veggies to ur family for 30 years (like his father who did that for 40 years previously) can still give u better deals than the supermarket.
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mick Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Aniket,
When I traveled in India 30yrs ago listening to middle class memsahibs their English was upper middle class English circa 1950 and was so beautiful to listen to with the Indian accent but the beauty came not only from the way they spoke but their vocabulary too words long out of fashion back in England. Then there’s terms that Naomi uses in everyday writing that she has absorbed. Here when a business has changed addresses we say it has moved, you and she say shifted, I know because I saw this on a notice in Madras as was. Please I hope that class of Indian passed on that sort of English because it was better that that spoken here, even by the royal family. You young Indian would go a long way having a handle on English as your grand parents did. We may not of don’t things perfectly historically wise but some of the things we gave you, you now do better than us. Some of you speak English as she should be spoken.
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Aniket Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Excellent observation Mick. I did my schooling in an Indian school, and the English & French that was taught there was very 1950’s. The book we used for French was a 50’s edition reprint! After moving to the West for further studies, I haven’t been able to preserve my way of talking and have lost half of my vocabulary as I adapted to speak in way people here could understand me. But I still say the occasional “thrice” and do get the “what is your good name” from old Indians :). India as a culture has an affinity with the old & archaic, which I think is partly responsible for how the old way of speaking is preserved here.
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Naomi Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
“The cabbies dont travel short distances, cos the fare doesnt cover the cost of taking u there.”
Is this true??????
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mick Reply:
December 1st, 2009 at 9:06 pm
No it’s not true they are just a little more interested in saving the planet than someone who needs a taxi for short distances.
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Naomi Reply:
December 1st, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Mick. I Iive in India. You don’t. You last came here in the 1960s, I believe? Right? Well, now it is 40 plus years later. India is different. You cannot walk on most of the roads in Bandra and Mahim (the areas I need cabs for short distances) as the roads and pavements are non existant, you would get killed within seconds and illegal shopkeepers have encroached on any safe walking space there is, or people/homeless are lying on the pavement..Yes, Carter Road has a nice safe promenade as does Marine Drive, but these are few and far between. In Norwich I walked everywhere but In Mumbai you can’t and the heat also prevents it. That is why everyone takes cars…It has nothing to do with the planet - it is to do with the lack of pavements, fact roads are broken up and the heat.
Aniket Reply:
December 1st, 2009 at 10:40 pm
yes, most cabbies rent their cabs on a daily basis from owners for a fixed fee, so they r essentially running a small business. so when they take u in, they have considered all these questions like how much petrol they will spend, how much traffic along the way, what r the chances of missing out on a bigger fare if they take u in, what r the chances of getting a fare nearby ur destination. these guys r up @ the crack of dawn & on the road for atleast 12 hours in mumbai traffic, & most of them pay for their petrol & cabs… u think they wud be lazy?
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Deb Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Very well explained, Aniket, even if it looks complex to some. And that could be said about a lot of things in Naomi’s list e.g. haphazard stacking of wares by grocers, which could be to utilise his minuscule space most efficiently, which would in turn enable him to give the (’right’) customers the best deal (while looting the unknowking ones!). Many of the things have pure economic logic as the basis.
Liked abt the Barista! Does this happen at Bandra one or just abt anywehre? Anyways I guess I saw you at Bandra one the other day..:)
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Hey Naomi..
Another piece just showing how it is actually in the so called metro’s in India.Well the charm of India lies in these things i guess.
And we don’t seem to complain about all the chaos in grocery stores also.To be frank my mom doesn’t like to shop in the well organised supermarkets.
And one thing the media ,bollywood they cover issue which ensure that it will be high dcibel and icrease there visibility.Most of them are like that only.
About the salary well that’s the way we fool the govtso that we pay less taxes and the CTC dos a similar kind of thing fpr the companies because a company never pays what is the CTC but that amount goes into the expenditure.And for traffic well if someone sees a ambulance coming other vehicles line up behind the ambulance to get a clear way rather than wait for those people who gave way .SO we love to take shortcuts.
There are laws regarding seat belts and helmets but we Indians believe rules are meant to be broken never mind in the end it will be us who’ll be ending up with broken bones.
Cabbies won’t travel short distances because that is against there ethics i guess.Small money won’t do only big bucks matter…
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viksdes Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
so you are actually proud of the ‘noise’, ‘taking shortcuts’ , ‘breaking rules’ ? It seems you certainly seem not to matter about these traits!..I really wonder of we (India) can truly become a liveable society since there are just too many people like you around.
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arindam Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 10:07 am
wELL BROTHER the things you mentioned yes I do like the noise but yes nit taking shortcuts and breaking rules because i feel without rules we will be disaster and shortcuts are taken by lazy people nor hardworking one’s..
And brother we ARE A LIVEABLE SOCIETY.I dont know where do you stay……….
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Almost 60 observations.
These being the symptoms, the underlying cause of all this chaos is Overpopulation and Fuedalism. The funny, or scary part of it is that if we were to become a socially equal society we will probably end up killing each other..
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Naomi Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Well, that is an interesting observation. Many people do in fact say that one of the “incredible” aspects of India (to steal from the Incredible India campaign) is that: people are not killing each other (unlike in the US where spoilt teenagers often stroll into a shopping mall or petrol station and randomly gun 50 people down and then kill themselves after playing too many video games)…It is often observed by expats that this is an “incredibly” peaceful society. Given the large population, made upf of so many ethnicties, it is amazing that there is such a relatively low crime rate - that so few people murder each other or commit violence (unlike in the US and UK where crime is very high.) I was speaking to an Australian the other day who is half Indian in fact who was telling me he is ashamed to come from Australia as the ‘racist’ way Australia is being portrated in the Indian media is in fact true and it is a nation of ‘thugs’. Ihave no clue if that is true as I have never been there, but I do know being British, that there is a thug and hooligan culture in the UK, that is not here in India, which is a good and incredible thing.
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Kaushik Reply:
December 1st, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Well .. a long list of observations u have… i probabaly have as many if not more abt London
I guess y u think wat u do is coz f where u belong to ( UK ) and how u hv bene brought up ( luks like its still million times bttr than the avg person i c in UK streets ).
Some of ur observations are right..as in y no one bothers 2 wear helmets, no one gives way to Ambulances etc….. It boils down to over population and a certain disregard to ones and others life.
As for y its people are working on all days irrespective of causla leave , mandatory leave day etc..well its a darn sight better than 20 yrs ago when there wasnt enough work and not enuff willing people to do it. Once we mature as an economy, people have good savings, have settled down etc..we will also proabaly go the way France has gone.. ( i.e. not willing 2 get off our arse at all!!!).
And yes India is a damn sight more peacefull if measured as number of commotions/no of people than most of the so caleld developed world especially US and UK.
Anyways…. it was agud read .. i read it twice ..might even read it “thrice”..
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Hi Naomi,
I felt you were overly critical of Mumbai… No city’s perfect.. and in all this chaos, our cities still maintain that perfect balance. Everything could use a little improvement, there’s no denying that. But some things are culture…. I wouldn’t like a sandwich without the chutney, nor the chic & organised supermarket over the local grocery shop but would certainly appreciate construction companies treating their employees better, people understanding the importance of safety, pedestrians getting the right of way etc. The negatives are also part of the culture, which we collectively need to work on…
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Naomi Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
I completely agree with you that no society or city is perfect. I lived in Tokyo once and came to hate it after one year. It would be nice if Saarthak or one of the other Indians living in the Uk who come on this blog, could write a critical piece about the UK from an Indian’s perspective. That would make a fascinating read..I would love to know which aspects of the UK Indians hate…
On a separate point, an expat friend of mine was working in India for some time as a journalist and has now moved to another Asian country (in the Far East that is much more modern than India) and he describes his new place as “soulless” compared to India..Now, noone has ever described India as “soulless”….which is why perhaps it continues to attract foreigners to its shores..
Anyway there is one point you make which fascinates me (and Arindam also made this point) :
Why do Indians prefer shopping in chaotic corner stores to sterile, organised supermarkets?..I am curious…I think this point was actually made in the book It Happened in India by Kishore Biyani…(They deliberately made Big Bazaar stores appear chaotic as Indian consumers preferred it..)
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“People have Mercedes cars, wear designer clothes and make-up and yet are not bothered the water from their tap isn’t safe to drink.”
The answer is simple: they are used to it. Since the time they were born they have been drinking filtered water, haing been repeatedly told by their parents how unsafe tapwater is. To Indians who have never been out of India, it is not in the least surprising. There are too many bad things we have gotten used to, and that includes the road risk for pedestrians.
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Naomi Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Saarthak. I have a request. I would like you to write a piece about what you as an Indian hate about the UK. Please. It would be fascinating for me to read.
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Kaushik Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Indians do prefer shopping in corner shops rather than Tesco kind of places ( not that Tesco is very well organized ). And yes Big Bazaar and Food bazaar changed from a western type departmental store to an Indian type Kiryana store when they surveyed the reason for lack of footfalls. Indians think ( probably correctly ) that a store in a Mall which is paying big bucks for the real estate + decent salary to its employees + big electricity bills etc.. well must be recovering that from the consumer. In London also, the street shops etc in Stratford, I find veggies + fruits in them generally cheaper than in Sainsbury’s and/or tesco. But well yeah Tesco/Sainsbury’s stocks everything that I need and hence much more convenient to shop from them.
U wanted a piece from Sarthak or someone else living in UK on what they think of UK.
Well I a sure Sarthak ( or someone else ) who has been around for a long time in UK can write a more insightful piece than me.. but I wud try to put my own two pence worth here.
Y is that there is no stable ( at least from an Indian’s point f view ) family life here for most of the inhabitants ( as opposed to say Asian immigrants ). I know its too general a statement and I am sure there might be thousands if not millions of couples who have been around with each other forever, but well even amongst them I guess , there will always be a sense of insecurity, as in who knows when ur partner might leave.
The second point flows from the first. Y are the kids /teens so full of angst. Just about ALL of them seem to like only hanging out, killing time ( if not people ) .Why is that their “face” and “worth” ( in their eyes ) seem to get measured only in what kinda gadgets they have + what kinda clothes they wear+ how many people they can scare/maim/kill etc etc.. u get the drift.
Y is it that a large part of the youth thinks going to jail is something to brag about?.
Y is it that anyone who gets fired or doesn’t like a joke his/her Boss has emailed/told goes to court to Sue? Don’t people get fired because they were (relatively at least ) incompetent. If I were to tell a joke about a blonde ( sorry I know u r a blond ), would that make me a sexist ?. I have been in UK for just 6 months, but I strictly refrain from pulling peoples legs or jokes here..here i am totally different from the person I was in India L
Why is it that even with so much more money than the average Indian, there is so much less peace-of-heart than the avg Indian amongst the natives/inhabitants here.
When everyone is having sex since probably they were 12 - 14.. y cant they at least use protection..and not have terrible—-ABSOLUTELY terrible – teenaged singled parents.
Neutral front
NHS is **** from my point of view, but I guess if it were to be viewed from someone who is not earning good wages, it probably is a good thing.
On the positive front
London is the one place on earth where you get to meet the most varied people on earth..from all corners of the globe, and of all kinds. Spending evenings in Leicester Square ..just nursing ur drink and watching people… well even that is an absolutely lovely experience.
Europe in general and LDN in particular really takes pride and spends money in nurturing their history and buildings. Awesum stuff.
Infrastructure is absolutely grt, better than US any day ( though not anywhere near what Singapore has ). Though on that point I must say mobile network coverage in Indian cities is much better than here in LDN, I am on O2.. lets just say it leaves a lot to be desired. And SKY TV conks out like 20 times a month, the moment it sniffs bad weather anywhere near the horizon. In India Dish and/or Tata Sky are million times better.
Love the musicals and plays and performances that keep on happening all the time. Better than movies any day.
So all in all, on the gud front, its like UK is maintaining its culture/history etc very well. Infra quite well. Anything that involves money to maintain, is done well.But when it comes to maintaining what we call the social fabric, its going to the dogs. Atleast london is..cant say anything abt the countryside.
Thanx and Best Rgds,
Kaushik
PB Client Tech Services — London
02077745760 ( Option 1 )
It is not in doing what you like, but in liking what you do that is the secret of happiness — James M. Barrie
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Kaushik Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Can u remove this post please as it has my details in it
Proj Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
London has better infrastructure than the US, interesting observation ?? all Europeans I know who came to US for school, jobs etc think otherwise although they are critical of the superficiality in American culture. Would be interesting to know which specific part of US is London being compared. On top of that, London is expensive as hell, the price of stuff even in those duty free shops at the airport are at least one and half times American prices, if not more. The little I have seen of London, looked pretty shabby to me compared to American metros.
Naomi Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
America lacks soul, I think, compared to India and the UK. So, whether the infrastructure is better or not, I still prefer the UK.
Very good analysis, Kaushik, keep it up.
Proj Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
American culture is definitely the most materialistic and Americans the most voracious consumer in the world, no doubt about that, no wonder their GDP is 71.2% consumer spending, which over the years has drowned them into debt. In Sep 06, their national savings rate was negative and only last year did they enter positive territory to record a paltry 6% this fiscal. Just to give an idea, Asian economies have national savings rate well upward of 20% which America desperately wants to change through well designed marketing campaigns.
Makes one wonder if materialistic success is the way to happiness, Americans would have been the happiest in the world and not live on anti-depressants, as a significant number of them do. Its time that they acknowledge the existence of the spirit or soul, if you will and balance their materialistic achievements with spiritual development. towards pursuit of happiness, just what the vedas prescribe.
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Oh God Lord Naomi!! I do understand your concerns about things like beggars, water and traffic jams. I really do.. But what I fail to understand is that why you keep insisting that India turn into a mini UK. Oxo cubes and diet coke?? Really?? All countries have their own way of functioning and India is no different. The shocking lack of supermarkets is due to a well established tradition of mom and pop stores in India. We call them kirana stores and a lot of people like moi actually prefer them to the supermarkets as they offer far superior customer service and actually remember your preferences (eg if I ask my kirana store guy for biscuits he will hand over Hide and Seek cos i Buy them all the time and he knows that).Honestly, where would the Indian charm of bustling bazaars be if we all had supermarkets which all looked the same, stocked the same products and had the same zombie helpers who have no clue. Compare this to a seemingly haphazardly stocked kirana store where the boy knows exactly where everything is stored. I really wish you would enjoy India and all it’s eccentricities rather than using your blog to whine about them.
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A hilarious one but very true ! Yesterday I was chatting with a German lady friend of mine who has been working with a hospital in India for the last one year and she was telling me life in India is a constant struggle and she is having to “fight” everywhere even for “small things”.
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By the way, if anyone wishes me to write on a particular subject, or has a question, they wish to pose, please, please do. I don’t want to just be leading the topics…..I want you to tell me what interests you…
I have made my request and that is that one of you (Saarthak?) to write a critical piece of the UK or another non Indian country…say the UK …that would be interesting…for me…saying what you as an Indian miss and don’t like about the place…
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BR Reply:
December 25th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
NAOMI
I would like u to write an article on ‘INDIA and the Western World come together to be one force and lead the world to a prosperous future’
U know we both are democracies and have free speech, free press, free judiciary, rule of law, free religious rights, open democracy and so on
So in 21st century, we both come together and be a single force to make the world better
As u know the world we live in is today a troubled place hassled by Islamic terrorism, India and the West both suffer from it and face threats from it.
Something like that………..
I believe we 2 must come together, i am keen that u write your views as a Westerner
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Last I checked moderation of blog comments was meant to filter out profainity and offensive text.
I apologise if mine was seen as such, but frankly it seems like it wasn’t published with supression in mind
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Pandey, she moderates out stuff that is better written, then when people say **** it she pads it out with her own comments.
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Mick,
Thanks for the observation. Will refrain from bothering next time.
P.s. - you’re right - that’s where her great idea of getting an Indian’s perspective on Britain came from
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what Indians do to show that they are globalised is to appease the Westerners because of their white skin and lick their arse. bloody Indians they will always be the slave of the white man
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mick Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
do you really believe what you have written there if you spend just a little time thinking about globalisation it sort of means standing up as individuals (countries) and going about it as if the world was populated by that number of individuals having to live harmoniously. Your still stuck in the past and that is the place to be if you want to get ahead isn’t it,
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No it wasn’t in the 60’s it was the 80’s. Don’t tell me there are no cycle ricksaws anymore either, what about those little 3 wheeled scooter type things that caused their own traffic jams they gone as well?. No bullock carts no bicycles. Is it worth visiting let alone living there.
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This is a response to your reply earlier in the blog, I know Norwich is in Norfolk etc and most of the drivers leave many things to be desired for all it’s faults you decided to go and live in Mumbai so you will just have to put up with the draw backs, shame Mumbai doesn’t run to underpasses Madras in the 80’s did, there were busy roads where you couldn’t walk no one in their right mind would, but that was only a minority of roads. I have 27 days before I land at mumbai fortunately I shall not be leaving the airport either way so I won’t be taking my life in my hands. Sadly then the big fat Sikh with his big fat wife and 3 small fat children on a 350 Indian Royal Enfield Bullet is a thing of the passed if they were poorer it would have been a scooter. Or the young couple on a bicycle him pedaling she on the cross bar or even the handle bars. No cacophony of rickshaw pullers(pedal) clanking their cracked bells hooters brakes.
Why oh why didn’t someone tell me India is no more, alas and alack I shall have to be a tourist and spend my money cocooned and protected from the 21st century India
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Once again in reply to Naomi’s earlier reply about having to have taxi’s, Please don’t tell me that the famed Indian bus has bitten it’s dust Ho Ho, surely there are umteen buses you could catch to where you want to go. I know they can be death traps, but they have their funny side i well remember a trip from Varanasi to Sharnath by bus in 83. It broke down twice and was mended there and then by the driver with well aimed but apparently random hits with a large hammer and no doubt the words he was saying if translated went along the lines of “Dam machine” there’s not enough reality in Naomi’s blogs
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Naomi Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
India is still very much worth visiting….And the buses are very much still here:) Come and make your own observations…
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Deb Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Yes, the buses are very much there. And of all kinds. Alongside the (much loved!) ramshackle ones (which of course provide a cheap mode of transport to the multitude, there are ‘Volvos’ (yeah, it refers to the brand) which do inter-city at a fast clip. And in Delhi, there are now air-conditioned buses (the red ones) for local transport. So buses are not going to turn turtle and dry in a hurry, not in India. (:-)
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Naomi Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Plus Delhi even has the metro! There are no more any cows in the streets. In Mumbai lots of people have white Mercedes and all kinds of fancy cars. An Indian friend came to visit me in the UK once and he was shocked at my second-hand Peugeout 100 with no automatic windows or steering - and that was two years ago.
Aah Naomi, I never knew you were observing India this well when we met in Mumbai. Some of the things you mentioned here are indeed good to read but some even I am baffled. You know out of station is not phrase used by Mumbaikars only. Come to Bihar or UP and you can hear this from anyone in whose family there is anyone in government service or even Pivate. ‘Will revert’ is widely used all across. Zebra crossing thing is indeed big issue-actually none cares. Diet Coke is status symbol.
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In spite of all its “deficiencies”, its about the country that tells a better story, no wonder why nations should pursue “soft power”
http://www.ted.com/talks/shashi_tharoor.html
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Naomi Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Sorry?
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wel written and explained!
must admit you have captured mumbai in all expects… unlike Soofi (who calls himself delhiwala) is stuck in Nizamuddin basti.
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Correction :
Hind or Marathi?
It’s “Hindi”
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Pankaj Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 7:08 am
wonder how long u been in India? can you speak Hindi?
wonder how can you get that wrong
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Naomi Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I’ve been in India two years. It was a typo.
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Most of the reasons could be linked to one of two factors: economics and law enforcement. Some of the ones not yet answered by others:
- Taxis honk because (a) their indicators are broken & they don’t care about/aren’t penalised for it and/or (b) indicators wouldn’t do the job - the other drivers just wouldn’t give way - whereas honking could at least force some people to move out of irritation!
- Leases are for 11 months due to a legal provision (maybe no more there) by which a 12 month or more lease could give the tenant certain rights e.g. against eviction.
- Most doctors don’t have the wherewithal to/are not required to/wouldn’t care to maintain medical record - it’s an extra bother which doesn’t bring in any extra money.
- Nightclubs: the unsavoury incidents/thuggery inside/outside some nightclubs e.g. in Gurgaon at late hours should indicate the reasons.
- Not only drycleaners, but many small businesses provide employment to a no. of people at low cost and thus ’spread the wealth around’!
- The non-English speaking guard etc. is probably just intimidated by English.
- ‘Dat’ and ‘dee’ in texts may be just to avoid typing more characters.
- Voicemail is not there not only in mobiles (unless specifically activated) but also not on fixed phones (BTW I’m fascinated how they show in many English people taking calls only through voicemails & not picking up every call).
- Ring tones are pop songs because that’s probably one way for many people to listen to music, as the ipod is not so very prevalent here.
- Leaves: ask the poor souls at call centers and other places, who are at risk of being laid off if they do take their ‘entitled’ leaves - leaves are supposed to be only on paper, anybody actually taking them risks being labelled ‘laid back’ (and then laid off!).
- Employees have to do tax returns by law, not the employers.
- Many shopkeepers (many of them belonging to ‘baniya’ or traditional trader community in North India) do not eat meat, so they don’t stock meat.
- Meat sellers handle it barehanded probably because the customers are used to it and don’t protest (most customers have developed immunity against any contamination anyway).
- Barely any place to stand in local trains - how will the checkers move around (:-)?
- Cafes pay high rents - can’t afford to waste space on such ‘luxuries’! (go to public toilets if one wants to)
- Mostly only dogs lie in streets (except in Nagaland probably) because of unchecked population growth - cats prowl about but don’t dare lie in streets to risk being attacked by dogs!
- People are now keeping cats and also many other animals as pets (ref. a recent HT Brunch feature)
- Newspapers are cheap because the prices are only token - they make most of their money out of adverts - and competition keep them down.
- India WAS perceived as spiritual, at least by residents, not IS. On the other hand, most people would at least make a brief ‘bow’ to a god/goddess before they go out of home - and when passing in front of temples - even if symbolically. It seems ingrained.
- Most beggars beg because the jobs that go around are need either education or money, which they don’t have (some beggars are exceptions - it’s a choice for them!).
- Most car owners are ‘first generation’, so they take pleasure in tormenting pedestrians now that they’ve the steering in their hands (a big, big deal) - “Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi” (because the mother in law was a tormented daughter in law once) (:-).
- Taxis have no seat belts because they hardly move in city traffic (how many people do we hear stuck out of front windscreens of taxis?) and couldn’t care less for the law (:-).
- Helmets obstruct the fine cool wind!
- Emergency lane! Does one think it would be left vacant by other traffic?! When even footpaths are taken over by meandering motorcycles/bicycles and the occasional car!
- Street side shops probably can’t afford the fridge to keep the eggs in. And even if they could, why the extra expense (after all, nobody complains).
- People sleep on pavements because there ARE no places for them (some shelters are there, but woefully inadequate in no.).
Many other things - e.g. construction workers safety, zebra crossing, - are explained by the abject lack of respect for the law. Which in turn is explained by the shortage of state machinery to enforce the law. And just lobbying for a law wouldn’t help (except to create some days of fun for the bored legislators) - again, where is the wherewithal to enforce such laws. And whatever could be enforced, is short-circuited by bribery & corruption.
All in all, we’ve to live with the warts for quite some time to come. Maybe some outside pressure could lead to change. After all, Indian traditional ’sweet shops’ like Haldiram & Bikaner (in the North) have beaten MNC food chains like KFC at their own game, by improving their hygiene and service quality.
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Naomi Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Thanks. Your answers were fascinating.
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Some other language & grammar observations:
A word which I used in my job in the UK which my British colleagues found funny is ‘decadal’ as in ‘decadal growth’. Its very commonly used all across India. Apparently the common way in UK is to say ‘10-yearly growth’.
And I still say ‘out of station’ when in India and ‘on leave’ or ‘on vacation’ or ‘am travelling’ when in UK or Europe……
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