Disclaimer: I’m in a bad mood



I have been in a permanently rotten mood for two weeks running. It’s a record of sorts. I’ve been biting everyone’s heads off, snapping every second, and generally behaving like a cranky old hag. Now, this blog is about ME.It’s irrelevant to a great many people and pisses a lot of ‘intellectuals’ off which makes it all the more fun for me. So since we’ve established that, here is an outlet for my two-week crankiness. Enjoy.

I don’t get poetry. I think it’s a convoluted way of saying really simple stuff.

I want the world to end in 2012. Maybe sooner. I think humans are God’s/the higher power’s worst creations. We’re so full of ourselves, we’ve made a giant mess of things and we’re screwing up every single day that we exist.

I think rape is the worst crime – worse than cold-blooded murder. Rapists shouldn’t be killed. They should be slowly tortured in ingenious ways every single day of their lives. Starting with castration.

I like feeling depressed sometimes. It’s better than feeling nothing. Which I also feel a lot of.

I think there’s an ugly bully hiding in me. I’ve been too nice for too long.

My greatest fear is losing face. In every sense.

My terrible lack of ambition doesn’t scare me. That scares me.

I’m a closet violent person. I have enough rage to commit a crime. And my first victim would be a taxi driver.

I think I’m a great catch. Not everyone agrees.

I prefer women to men. Not in a sexual way.

I think PMS is a valid excuse.

I don’t care about the world at large. It’s pointless. General knowledge is just a tool to appear more intelligent than the other person in a conversation.

I know I’m not going to be rich and famous. Or poor and infamous.

I see dead people.

I’m kidding.

I detest people who take themselves too seriously.

Injections are probably the worst medical invention ever. Which sadist would think up a device with a big shiny needle to poke through bare flesh to make someone feel better?

I can’t face the world with a pimple.

You think this post is crap? So do I.

I dream a LOT about dirty toilets and poop. Does that say something about my life?

I’m actually quite happy. I just like whining. As I said PMS is a valid excuse.

If you’re cool with seeing someone five years your junior getting paid ten times your salary, get into print journalism.

Elevators scare me. For those few seconds I’m going up or down, my life flashes before my eyes.

I suck in a crisis situation. Don’t put me as your emergency contact.

I’m no good with babies. I run out of weird sounds and faces in two seconds flat.

I feel better already. Thank you.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (52 votes, average: 4.62 out of 5)
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  • http://aalok.wordpress.com alok

    jai ho :)

    [Reply]

  • Dev

    Thought of joining a Fight club ?

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    Tasneem Reply:

    yes the thought has crossed my mind. I did kickboxing for 3months!

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  • Dev

    If you’re cool with seeing someone five years your junior getting paid ten times your salary, get into print journalism….I thought it should read, get into an IIM, compete with an IIT-grad-no-work-experience guy to get a Big 4 Management Consulting shortlist, and watch him walk away with the Boston office offer because your interviewers feel ‘he is more malleable’.

    Of course, not all deep-pocket firms do that.

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    ambar Reply:

    lv wat u write its so spontaneous

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    Tasneem Reply:

    i know. thats the best way really!

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  • sagar

    that was rotten good

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    Hussain Reply:

    Hi,

    Are so many things troubling you since the last fortnight? The list is really huge.
    And about parity in salary, I personally don’t think its only existing in print journalism; it’s everywhere.

    P.S.: You are loaded with creativity, from where do you get all of this? Please share some tips with me…

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    Tasneem Reply:

    haha. i dont know whether its creativity or just plain blabber…but thanks anyway. Tips ? get reallllly angry about something and then quickly write about it!

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    Gaurav Reply:

    Actually very true.. Plain old banter is the best.. And anger/frustration fuels creativity for some reason!
    BTW so many points up there are things that everyone feels at some point of time.. Kudos..

    Tasneem Reply:

    bloody thanks!

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  • Garima

    hei…
    i’ve been into ur blogs since ystrday onlyy… dat too purely by coincidence..
    bt i have started to realise it was meant to be so..was looking for dis kinda writin fr quite long..
    as for ur list…d lesser said, d better…;)

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    Tasneem Reply:

    hey garima!
    wow meant to be and all! so lovely :) uve put me in a slightly better mood!

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  • SANJAY

    Fantastic post …….you are welcome to the real world…..hehe
    you still make lot of sense of nonsense. cant wait for the next ……

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    Vijay Iyer Reply:

    Wow, you writing is so hilarious, and you are so honest about things, keep writing so that I could think!! Enjoy!

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    Atul Reply:

    Well..I can say you are almost 90% of what everyone else is…though you are very different than them by realising them and ACCEPTING them in a public forum.

    Also, I read, you like whining sometimes but over a period of 6 months that I am reading your blogs and have had read all (archives one), I feel you do that a hell LOT. You NEED not. Its just ok to be who you are, you are most welcome to change 1000 things around you that you have a problem with but none (read: you) want to make that sort of effort and which is just OK.
    Btw, the creativity you put into your whining list is simply awesome. Not all have it..Keep blogging angel…

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    Ritiks Reply:

    Man..those were my thoughts..thankyou..i too feel better now…more on the same lines please

    Tasneem Reply:

    u want more of this ranting???!
    ok dont say you didnt ask for it!!

    Tasneem Reply:

    hey atul
    yeah probably i do, but a wise man..or was it woman, once said that whining is a woman’s prerogative! Although i must disagree with you, pls refer to entry about “things i love” and….err…yeah ok ur right i do whine a lot.

    Tasneem Reply:

    thank you vijay!

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    Tasneem Reply:

    thanks sanjay! i also make a lot of nonsense of sense, if that makes sense!

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    SANJAY Reply:

    I have been religiously visiting Hindustan Times everyday toto check if you have posted a new one……Pls. write them often.
    cheers

    PS: I would like you to write a few lines on expectation & accountablity, in your witty style. i.e. We expect Doctor to treat us every time we visit him. But they are never accountable if they didnt. the same goes for so many professions (almost every other except your or mine). BUT we are always expected to do our job correct, all the time and every time. no exceptions here.
    i guess you know what I mean.

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  • Sasi

    “General knowledge is just a tool to appear more intelligent than the other person in a conversation.”
    Hahahaha!!! Really good one.
    Love reading your blogs. Keep them coming.

    P.S: If you are this good in a rotten mood, cant wait to see a post from you in one of your better moods:-)

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    Akshat Srivastava Reply:

    That was damn good.

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    Tasneem Reply:

    thank you akshat :)

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    Tasneem Reply:

    thank you sasi. You might have to wait for a while for one of my better moods. or flip back to previous entries…like the one about things i love….ugh!!

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  • Chinz

    completely enjoyed this post :) )

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    Tasneem Reply:

    so did i :)

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  • http://thegoofysufi.blogspot.com Amit Julka

    join the club(except for the PMS thing ofcourse….my biology doesn’t let me make that excuse ;) )

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    Tasneem Reply:

    haha. thank god for that!

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  • Gautam Sehgal

    You’re getting pretty good at constructing sentences. Try advancing to the next level, two or more sentences about the same topic. It’s called a paragraph.

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    Tasneem Reply:

    Dear Wren & Martin,
    Here’s another sentence for you – “sod off”.
    Or is that a phrase? Or an interjection?. You must guide me.

    PS: Did I mention I was in a bad mood?

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  • monika

    Absolutely true,its bttr to feel depressd den nothin.. bt poetry is jus so enthralling.. dnt agree here..u write nice stuff

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    Tasneem Reply:

    thanks :)
    yeah i know a lot of people like poetry. I jsut dont get it though! my bad!

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  • man friday

    “I detest people who take themselves too seriously.”

    What?????????????????????? …. Dude that’s my line …. it’s my only line …. I was planning to use it at some really important point in my life when the world was listening as like my final word on people and life …. And you’ve used it in a blog post now ….. We need to tak about this ………………….

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    Tasneem Reply:

    sorry dusty, not ALL the cool lines in the world are yours! your final words can still be “is it not meningitis”? (they were the last words of Louisa Alcott)

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  • amit

    just tooo gud !!! u were stoned while writing this i’m sure.

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    Rakesh Reply:

    She must have been to her favourite watering hole.

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    Tasneem Reply:

    no no this was all natural hormones.

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  • http://bissibelebath.wordpress.com/ Krishna

    Your humour was nice. But why are you trivialising serious issues in such sarcastic (read non-sence) way. What was the need to bring in ‘way to punish rapists’ and simply talk rubbish about that. Every offence has a punishment and there is a procedure to decide that.

    You may say that it is YOUR blog and you can write anything. But the fact remains that people read it because it is available in HT blogs. If you were writing in a non-public forum blog you wouldn’t be getting such high numbers.

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    Tasneem Reply:

    hey krishna, i wasnt trivialising it in the least and it was definitely not sarcastic. I was in a bad mood and i wanted to talk about all the things that make me really angry or sad or scared and rape is one of them. What i said about it, i meant it completely without any trace of sarcasm or lightness.

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  • Rakesh

    Hey, Everybody is frustrated at some point or the other. It’s great for you that you have a blog to vent out your frustration. I have just started writing a diary. Someday probably I will write a blog. ;-)

    [Reply]

    Tasneem Reply:

    you can start right away. its really quite easy. but i prefer a diary. its so much more personal. and not everyone will find out ur pmsing!

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  • Aanchal

    HAHA, that was funny. i really loved it quirkiness & crispness.
    And being somewhat of your age (i wouldnt reveal my age,though), i sooo undesrtand your emotion & angst. And i too often feel that why does verse writing only, qualify us for being a good writer, it is not happening at all.

    i guess it is time for some real unabashed , on your face, and quick to react writing.
    so darling, keep writing & let the airheads keep wincing.
    LOL

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  • Bamboo

    I LOVE IT!! Except for the poetry part. Poetry is a tool used to add big words to simple statements and occasionally make them rhyme. I don’t know about you, most people I know try to do that during their daily conversations anyways…who doesn’t like a spontaneous rhyme

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  • sheetal bhardwaj

    hey ur post was too intersting i enjoyed…sometimes its great to see n read that someone else is also going throgh the same pain really very nice…….

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  • http://shrady.blogspot.com shraddha

    I feel like I’ve met my twin save for the detesting people who take themselves too seriously cause I don”t think detesting yourself is healthy…and add that to PMSing..its virtual sucide!!

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  • Neha

    i loved reading it..was launghing like anything..it was like someone narrating my own mood

    u r great Tasneem!! i always feel great after reading your blogs..

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  • Gurkirat Singh

    you dream alot about dirty toilets or poop, well my friend once told me, if u ever dreamt about something like that then you are going to get a LOT of money. My friend is into a lot of this kind of stuff(relating to astrology, dreams..etc).

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  • Aman Juneja

    This is first time i have read your blog..i found myself in it many a time..and i guess so did many of us(who have lived for at least quarter of a century by now,and are not married)..At least you can share your thoughts with so many and feel relieved..
    I disagree with those who believe you are a not a good catch..and
    If you are feeling nothing then you are depressed..

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  • Jaya

    Hi Tasneem,

    where are you!!!!

    do write again!!!!

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  • kriti

    well i never read smthin lyk dat since a long tym n enjoyed it !!!!

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  • JD

    Poetry is convoluted!!. Sample this:
    Prose: You are beautiful.
    Poetry:
    The face that set sail a thousand ships
    A dazzling smile that lit up the heavens
    The faint ecstasy, that lightly grips
    In company of you, Fairest Maiden!

    Cheer Up! Imagine if this was written for you. Would you just want “him” to say the prose or recite the poetry. Add a dash of full moon, a silent breeze and you have the perfect pick-me-up.
    P.S. I sent this to someone anonymously. Next thing I know , her facebook relationship status changed from single to “in a relationship”.
    Not with me,though :( .

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    Sonali Reply:

    Where have you disappeared?

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  • Ziauddin Shafi

    There’s something known as Azaad Shaayeri – poetry independent of any meter – you may say without rhyme or reason. Your above write-up sounds pretty much like that, plus the advantage that you enjoy of writing without the constraints of poetry that even an Azaad Shaaer has to contend with. Follow the chain of thought and you would deliver.

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  • Vk

    Waiting 4 ur nxt one for so long………
    plz plz plz write……

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  • Atul

    Hey Angel,

    Seems like you have taken an indefinite break from Blogging…but is there a way to be in touch with you or meet you personally.

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  • http://turbulenttranquility.blogspot.com/ TurbulentTranquility

    If it makes you feel better … Just vent. Don’t care – like you don’t already – which I admire btw.
    Even those intellectual kinds come visit your blog (am sure) :)

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  • amby

    Hey Tashneem,

    i hv always read ur blogs wid great interest bt dis is the first time m commenting..infact i come n check ur blog every oder day fr any new post..bt u hav js disppeared.I could make out from ur last few blog entries tht u were nt probably in ur best of moods bt den we always have ups n downs..plz come back..m sure like me..every1 misses ur writing…:)

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  • abhishek

    Hi Tasneem,
    Its been quite a long tym that u posted a blog. I am eagerly waiting for ur next post.
    I visit hindustantimes only for ur blogs,plz start the good work again.
    Missing your posts a lot.

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  • Shubhankar

    I’m joining print journalism soon :)

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  • Rita Kaul

    Oh dear,it’s good that you feel better….at the cost of leaving me paranoid with fear of the outside world:)))

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  • Bhanu

    L-O-V-E-L-Y……wonderfully written…..i cn completely realte to a few things…been too nice for too long…have an ugly bully hidin in me…..u bring me a smile…

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    Abhimanyu singh Reply:

    ugly bully hidden in u????? haw haw haw…..it aint hidin luv….. :D

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  • sachin saini
  • priyanka

    really nice…can see shades of me in it…
    Elevators scare me. For those few seconds I’m going up or down, my life flashes before my eyes.
    I suck in a crisis situation. Don’t put me as your emergency contact.

    i tottaly get hw frustrating life gets at one point of time n how relieving it is to write ur heart out.

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  • shruti

    this one is realllly nice and for thirty something married working women like me.. this feels som1 has written for all of us..
    yes we all wish to feel depressed, stressed and still will sail out and say OH! did i sulk nah nah
    awesome..:)

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  • megha

    hahah.. i think i’ve written some of those things myself when i’m ooooh so pissed!it’s a great way to vent out. I’m sure you feel better and yea.. you are truly talented.

    ramble on woman \m/

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  • http://thestoryofmyassasins.blogspot.com Abhishek

    Its funny how people are jumping with advice. I actually find it funny. Except the PMS part I can probably relate to everything . But hey I dream of toilet paper running out , I think thats just a little bit more scary. I wonder if you have a blog too , that would be fun .

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  • Abhimanyu singh

    awesome….really…..n that kinda means a lot cus i dnt really say that to other people a lot…..self obsessed…….or truthful…like the second option better actually..lets go with that…

    in case u’r wondering…we dnt know each other so dnt strain ur memory….
    just had to say sompin after readin that….

    and yes…i realize that i sound like a creep…thanks for listening….

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  • shashank

    cool thouts.. i must say.. in ur bad mood.. :)

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  • http://ornatedispositions.blogspot.com/ Raksham

    You are fantastic…. with all boring news around, they should make a mandatory column from u daily to increase sales… :D

    Great Article:)

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  • http://999sviewpoint.blogspot.com/ PANKUL GUPTA

    Hi

    again very good……u have spoke yr heart out.
    some time back i wrote a somewhat related article which discusses the art of taking your life named “a suicide note”. i would like you read that.

    pankul
    http://999sviewpoint.blogspot.com/2010/03/suicide-note.html

    [Reply]

  • Bhavik

    Hi,

    This is such a fantastic blog I have read.

    The timing of me reading this one was just perfect as I have been going thru a similar phase.

    Thanks for writing in…

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  • http://amitencompass.123@encompass.in amit

    normal blog…

    [Reply]

  • Chhavi

    i actually felt smbody was penning down my own thoughts…inspired to do it myself ;)

    [Reply]

  • Absurdist

    it sounds like me ! the terrible lack of ambition part is totally me…!!! it took me so long to come across this though!! better late than never

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  • k

    i was in a bad mood too… though i must say PMS was not responsible in my case.

    Oh, and at the end of the blog i just realized…. u can be a mood lifter.
    keep up the good work.

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  • Nat

    OMG…I dream of loos too – excessively !! People laugh when I tell them…I see old loos, new loos, wet loos, aisles of loos….LOL !!

    i wonder what it means…

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  • http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/down-a-quarter/2010/05/12/o-come-all-ye-faithless/#respond Hindustantimes

    This is a fentastic blog……………
    _______

    RANI

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  • Shakthi Rao_007

    hey..can u give me the citation of the tamil nadu case?

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  • Ram Putre Singh

    WHY, IS MAYAWATI SO PRETTY OR IS SHE SO RAPEABLE, CONSIDERING HER LOOKS OF A PIG, AND HER SIZE OF A ELEPHANT, THAT SHE SHOULD BE OFFERED A CRORE TO BE ACCEPTABLE TO BEING RAPED. SHE HAS RAPED ALL IN UP AND DESERVES TO BE RAPED BY A ORANG UTAN, A DONKEY, A DOG, AND AN ELEPHANT

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  • vic778899 tor

    History shows that Gandhis do not have a Hindu lineage. Gyasudin (Motilal’s father) changed his name to Gangadhar when on the run from the British. Nehru bears no resemblance to Motilal. Nehru was not fathered either by Mobarrak Ali (the lawyer) or Nawab of Oudh. Nehru was circumcised at birth and grew up in the household of Nawab of Oudh. Nehru was educated in Urdu, Farsi and English. That’s why most of his speeches are in English. Indira Gandhi eloped with Feroze Khan and converted to Islam to marry him. Indira became Maimuna Begum. Rajiv was fathered by Feroze and Sanjay was fathered by Mohamad Yunus. After Rajiv’s death, Sonia has with the blessings of congress cronies simply hijacked the party and the nation. Sonia hates Hindus and she has enticed congress men to convert with large sums of money and positions of power. Look what she has done to North East India. Temples are destroyed openly and priests killed with total impunity. Indian media is so controlled by foreigners and congress henchmen that not much gets to most Indians.

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  • Shourav

    Pro multinational policies will help Congress like the Land Reforms helped West Bengal? What a joke. Unless you consider Manmohan Singh, Chiddu and Montek having seats reserved for them on MNC board of directors after they have been assigned to the dustbins of history after the 2014 elections as “helping” the Congress.

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  • Prem Kumar

    It seems a write up by Congress Spokesperson, totally one-sided, too far from reality. If FDI in retail can do for the congress what land reform did for the Left in West Bengal, then congress would come back in power in next general election and would rule the country for at least 30 years from now. And after 30 years it would be complete monarchy in India.

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  • annu singh

    Always remember Walmart and its look alike is not doing any good in any of the country stated above. So how will it benefit India. In India we are very cost consious, I purchase mostly from 2 kms away vegetable market than supermarket at 50 mtrs.
    Remember one person going out of job will lead to one member more to the looters club.

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  • KALYAN DHALL

    I beg to differ with Mr. Arnab Mitra on some basic fundamentals viz.
    1) For organised retail which stands to benefit the producer and the consumer, FDI is not mandatory. AMUL – GCMMF model is proof of that.
    2) Elimination of middle-men in today’s Indian society cannot be envisaged till the entire political culture of India undergoes a sea change. Let’s not forget, if the rule of the law is allowed to prevail, then 80% of our so called leaders, irrespective of their political affiliation, will be rotting in jails for the rest of their lives.
    3) China cannot be an example to emulate in any sphere due to Indian socio-economic environment as there are no common traits whatsoever.
    4) Most importantly, whether Congress has the people’s mandate to implement such an important policy decision is hugely questionable.

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  • Abu Ahmed

    We have built-in some safeguards while allowing FDI in retail in, let us build some more in order to make sure that there will be more of beneficial and less or adversarial effects on our economy and people.

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  • ssraja

    Sir let the FDI come .Because these middle men r looting the farmers for centuries in this country .what farmer earns in farming for the work for a year
    a broker makes in a minute.the sad part is that a farmer dosn’t have proper dhoti ,where as a middle man moves in a mercedes .the country’s middle men have made lot of money and they r dictating terms.let the farmer see good days.

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