Hindustan Times
In the zone
There’s this place that I’ve been stuck in for many years now. It’s called the comfort zone.
‘The comfort zone is a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk’ - Alasdair AK White From Comfort Zone to Performance Management.
This Alasdair White guy has got it right. In simpler words, I would define it as a mental state that gives you a false sense of security through its monotony and predictable consequences.
I’ve always been this safe sort of person and my life has followed a pretty routine trajectory. I studied well in school, I partied hard in college, I have a decent job, I hang out with friends, I hang out with my family. You know, run of the mill stuff. Nothing extraordinary. The same thing day in and day out.
At first, it seems the right thing to do. It makes you happy. It makes people around you happy. Then it starts to get to you. You want something new, something exciting that supplies you with an emotion or experience you’ve never felt before. To do that, you realise you can’t be doing the same things you’ve always done. Which means you have to do something different, something that requires you to take a risk.
A risk? Something unknown? Something unpredictable? Something that might not end up the way you think it will? No, no, you think frantically. Get back to the comfort of the zone, where all is as you left it - safe, predictable…comfortable. So you retreat your steps and get absorbed in the cocoon of your comfort. You have a decent job, you hang out with friends, hang out family.
I’ve tried getting out of the zone, I really have. I thought I’ll go abroad and study. (Not really a risk for most people, but considering I’ve never lived on my own, it was.) I made the effort, signed up for MA, did my research, found my dream course, paid for a GRE exam, got books to study. Then - I gave up. The fear took over. The fear of doing something that wasn’t part of my regular scheme of things. The fear of an alien admission process, the fear of cumbersome documentation and applications, the fear of taking an exam I’ve never taken and failing it. The fear of attempt itself.
To escape that fear, I gave up. I never even gave it a shot. It made me feel uncomfortable, this whole going abroad thing. Screw it, I thought to myself. I’ll get another job here and try later. I got a job, I hung out with friends, I hung out with family. I’m back in the zone.
The zone is a dangerous place to be. There are some people who aren’t even aware they’re in it, so they’re happy. For those who are aware, it’s hell. I’ve been stuck in the comfort zone for many years now. I want out.
(13 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
Loading ...Posted by Tasneem Nashrulla on Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 2:17 am
Filed under Quarter · Tagged abroad, Alasdair AK White, anxiety-neutral condition, comfort zone, From Comfort Zone to Performance Management, GRE exam, routine trajectory
Most of us like that
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Hi,
that is SO true!!! whether we know it or not. To try something out of your usual routine everyday will help.. me for one…been trying to get myself out of my comfort zone - start dieting / hit the gym, i CANT!! its either no time…or i don’t make time. but whatever it is…i think everyone should once just do something out of the box… (at least just for the kick !!)
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Your analysis is spot on.
I have got this feeling many times. I believe we all like unpreditictible situations but to a limited extent.
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Hi Tasneem,
This fear is called a fear of unknown. different people react differently to new things/idea/challenges/situations. Some are like you and some are like me. I am so excited to do something new that it never occurs to me to fear the unknown!!! if i get into my head to do something , i am so excited and doing so much planning , that fear of failure never occurs to me. I call it calculated risk.
I learned an accounting concept in my college studies. it is called “zero based Budgeting”. it says that whenever starting anything new, start with zero so that even if you fail you will come back to zero and never go negative. you will end up gaining something, even if the venture fails!! this is what drives me everytime i try something new..
But even I face the feeling of getting stuck in the rut. Want a challenge or something new but due to life’s terms and conditions, things still reamin the same , increasing the restlessness!!!
what to do? how to break the shakles!!!
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almost everybody is in that comfort zone…my risk is some else’s comfort zone…I might want to write a blog like you regularly and get replies from people(can i call us your fans…???)…for me thats a risk because i might lag behind in my zone…and at what price…i donno….maybe i might get into another confort zone…looking for another “risk”…a guy who serves you and me the tea at the office wants to be at your desk…thats his “risk”…thats the way it is sis…
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Hi Tasneem,
What a mind opening article, will help a lot of people to think about there Comfort Zone.
Looking for more from you.
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Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go !!!!
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Yes..I agree with you.. Many people live like this only..including me
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Tasneem,
99% of us and more are like that.. we like our crutches.
And, then one day, the crutches vanish.. one by one or all together. It happens to most, some sooner, some later.
We lose our parents, some lose their love some their job.
Remember though; this quote about great men..
” a few are born great, a few work at it and still others have greatness thrust upon them..”
Perhaps you will have greatness thrust upon you; when the opportunity comes, be sure to seize the moment.
All the best
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Just do it. I’m in my mid 40s and I just abandoned my comfort zone. Dropped my job, got my pay slashed but doing what I want to do, though it’s difficult. Supremely happy.
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true…even though its comforting to be in comfort zone…but its the fear of unknown which puts u off from trying out new thingss..i had this fear for quite sometime..but few yrs back..i just took some so called risks.. like goin abroad..living on my own..it was nothing smthng which i prepared for..but just took it headon..and it was great///after that..i understood that every human resists change to a large extent..its only when v stop resisting towards change that v discover ourselves..and its the most beautiful feeling
but yeah sometimes..doing something..which is unknown..backfires as well..but then thats life…! u got it take it as it comes..at least u will have the satisfcation that u tried..even if u failed at it!
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Read the words, haunted now by the familiarity:
Two Problems:
1) What to do?
2) How often to repeat the process?
I rest still, in the non-comfort of the office chair where 20091023 instead of 20091028 in a sent email yesterday, blew the bonus of the year.
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I can only suggest words from Danny Kaye,from a long time ago that remained with me.
When Danny was struggling to find his ground and was confused, he went to his father for advice. And his father told him … “Some people need to stay in the same horizons for safety, others need to constantly move …… test their wings against new winds ….. if you are not happy where you are …. don’t settle unless you find what you are looking for”
The general rule to know if you are in the right job is that you ask yourself a simple question ‘If money were not an issue, would you still like to do the same work ??’ And if the answer is no too many days in a row, you need to make a change. Having said that its not for everyone to swim against the current.
Wanna meet up-stream ??
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man friday Reply:
October 31st, 2009 at 8:22 am
Wow … at least one of us paid attention in the 12th standard
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On graduation, I worked three years at a company where the mantra was take on challenges and get out of your comfort zone (if you didnt, you’d get cut - I wont name the investment bank ;p) - I hated my job and figured out what I really want to do and am hopefully on the right track - but my previous firm’s culture is ingrained in my head - infact its what made me take really big risks and move continents. I enjoyed my new experience so much that now, two months away from starting my Masters I fear leaving my comfort zone - thats when my company’s mantra comes knocking ;p
Most of us fear the unknown - but we got to have faith that things will work out for the best and that we are stronger and more courageous than we imagine =)
Best of luck =)
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Deb Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
In a different context, short experiences of a few years like this do change one’s outlook. I had been based in Delhi all my life (and visited a few more in India - could be counted on fingers). And then I got a job which required me to travel all over South/South East Asia & Africa, for weeks together (with occasional visits to Europe). Did that four year stint change me - yes, it did, hugely. Do I yearn for it still - you bet I do.
But now that I’m back in a ‘confort zone’ kind of job since three years with practically no travel, I sometimes find myself becoming more ‘inward-looking’, though I try to retain some of my ‘wider outlook’.
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I’m reminded of this episode in the American sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S, where Ross makes a new year resolution of doing 1 new thing everyday…I think it’s a nice way of bringing some spice n colour into ones humdrum life without going too extreme…
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Quotable quotes from ‘The princess Diaries’
‘Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear……..’
‘The brave may not live 4 evr but the cautious do not live at al……..’
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ya, this comfort zone is a hindrance for our growth and finally we end up being in a place which is not where we belong
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hmmmm. it sounded like an excerpt taken from a self help book. any ways, i do believe that this whole coming out of the box feeling will always be repulsive….it takes a lot of courage. i agree with jaya….when people tried to make fun of sir edison, he came up with a brighter idea saying that he had identified 10000 ways by which he could not make BULB.
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*********For those who are aware, it’s hell***************
I have come to believe the GOSPEL that heaven is a Mankind’s delusion. No matter how good the conditions are for me, a few good days of life smother me with my hell again. But this feeling drives my passion to dwell in heaven again. This is all a periodic wave repeating itself, but the equation is so complex that we do not really understand the monotony of it, and the IRONY called life continues.
~~Akhil
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Reminds me of The Chronicles of Narnia, where the children come back through the wardrobe (into their comfort zone!) after wild adventures.
My take: go for it, while you can. After a particular stage in life, even if you yourself have the drive and the guts to go with it, family responsibilities (for the conscientious) or pulls (take your pick) become too strong to let one fly away, even for short stints.
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We all live in our comfort zones.By omission or by commission we avoid the situations which make us uncomfortable.Some bitter experiences remain in the back of our mind no matter how much we try to forget them and when we face a similiar situation the flash backs come forth.Comfort zones are nothing but the result of our attempts to avoide certain situations or challenges.
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