Hindustan Times
What’s in a name?
A Tasneem by any other name will bite your head off.
Like most people, I hate it when others distort my name. Unfortunately, my name lends itself to distortion very easily. For instance, lying in front of me at this very moment, staring at me with utmost insolence is an envelope that states, ‘To Jasneem, Hindustan Times.’
Now the name Tasneem is like the Pooja or Neha of the Bohri community. You go to a Bohri wedding/funeral/2nd cousin gathering and yell “TASNEEM”, I guarantee at least six women will respond to you. But the name is not that well-known in the non-Bohri world which is basically most of the world anyway. So ever since childhood, I have dreaded that one inescapable question “What’s your name?” Because the conversation generally goes like this:
Person: What’s your name?
Me: Tasneem
Person: Oh, hello Tasleem. What a pretty name.
Me: No no, TasNeem.
Person: Oh sorry, TasNEEN.
Me: NO, it’s TASNEEEEEM. Like the neem tree. NEEM. TREE.
Daft person: Ohhhh, ok ok. Tasneem.
This happens when I’m face to face with people. Now imagine this on the phone. This happens with Indians. Now imagine this with foreigners. When I stayed in New Zealand for a year back in 1999, I was re-christened ‘Thazneem’ (Thaz pronounced like Jazz) Not a single Kiwi got my name right in that whole year. Which intrigues me because I clearly pronounce it as ‘Tus’neem. Now if they can say bus, pus, fuss, cuss, why the bloody hell couldn’t they say Tas?
I even detest calling restaurants for home delivery simply because they ask me my name and the conversation will stretch for five more futile minutes where I have to eventually spell out each letter. Jasmine and Nasreen are two other commonly distorted derivatives of my name. I thought my name would preserve its sanctity at least at the workplace. But since HT is teeming with Bengalis whose names are actually meant to be distortedly pronounced with the letter ‘h’ fighting to get in almost everywhere (no offence), there are several colleagues who know me as ‘Tashneem’. And despite having corrected them once or twice, I’m still Tashneem to them.
I’ve never really thought of my name as good or bad. I’m actually rather indifferent to it per se. I mean it’s my name and that’s that. At least it isn’t something like Princess Kaur, or Healthy, or Wealthy, or Immaculate Conception, or Bhanchod, or Tsunami (all real names of people, I assure you). But that’s not to say I don’t care about my name. I’m sort of protective about it. It’s my identity and all, my eternal byline if you please. So completely mispronouncing it, and calling me by a name that isn’t mine at all, is rather vexing.
What’s worse? My full name is Tasneem Shabbir Nashrulla. Don’t even get me started on that.
(14 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5)
Loading ...Posted by Tasneem Nashrulla on Thursday, October 22, 2009 at 3:31 am
Filed under Quarter · Tagged Bengalis, Bohri community, foreigners, Immaculate Conception, name, Princess Kaur, re-christened, Tasneem, Tasneem Shabbir Nashrulla
wow, loved it.. its like I could have written this blog for the same difficulties I face for my name - Geetika, which I believe is not too uncommon / difficult by any means!
90% of the times people hear my name is Deepika & I have to invariably spell my name loud as G for Gold / E for Easy / E for Easy again / T for Tango……… (yes the whole of it so they do not start calling me Geepika!!) or sometimes it seems they do not bothering hearing the full name & start calling me Geeta; & the South Indian version Geethika!!!
And then in Australia where I live, the mis-spellings / pronunciations are beyond my belief.. Jeetika / Greetika / getettca… Getta, Jessica.. & God knows what not!!
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
hahaha!!! LOL at geepika and getettca! i can only imagine your plight in oz!
but you might wanna rethink the E for easy bit! cheers, G-E-E-T-I-K-A !!
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Dude …. Thanks a ton for this post … for the last six months I have wanted to check whether a neem tree is the same as a eucalyptus tree but I’ve always forgotten to do it … This reminded me … and a neem tree is not a eucalyptus tree … My beliefs have been shattered
Oh …. and bhanchod …. hahahahaha … class
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
of COURSE a neem tree isnt the same as a eucalyptus tree! but i’m glad my post has enlightened you dusty!
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Mr Bhan chod….?
Bose D K, Mr Bose D K …… travelling on IC 420 .. last call Bose DK…..
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Amit Julka Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:38 pm
i think you are a big fan of ‘kya kool hai hum’
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Nutsure Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
That’s what happens when the name is pronounced correctly !!
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
hehe, shudderrrr…. i’ve also heard of a soda-water-bottle-opener-wala. now thats not diff to pronounce, but imagine the annoucement, “calling mr soda water botlle opener wala”
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Hi!
Completely agree with you on the misprononciation issue. My name has been distorted to Mallika, Malaika, Radhika and every other version you can think of by pizza guys, parents of friends, friends of friends and possibly everyone else.
What is past me is that are people hard of hearing or they take some sort of sadistic pride in distorting names? Despite saying my name very clearly, sometimes even spelling it out, people seem to mispronounce it.
I have a theory about this whole issue. It is people with plain names who are jealous of our beautiful names who do most of the mispronouncing. It is just out of sheer jealousy that they like to make a mess of our names.
How I wish tha they would for once swallow their prde and prononce our names correctly!
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
hehe malvika! good theory! I’d rather have my long complicated name anyday than any of those easy simple ones. BAH!
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Hi Tasneem,
I understand ur plight!!! I also face the same problems with my name. when i went to europe, they pronounce J as Y so i became YAYA!!! the name was totally unrecognizable to me!!!
luckily i have a pet name which is an english name, so i started using that in europe when calling for cab and such things!!!
but when this happens in india, i also get irritated!! but what to do??
so better grin and bear!!!! and keep correcting people!!!
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
how can people possibly screw up JAYA. its sooo easy and short! but u wont believe it, in the bohri community Yaya is actually a legitimate name for men!
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Jaya Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Hi Tasneem,
Thanks for telling me that!!!!
But let me assure you even my small name is ill-treated so much, even in india, that it is irritating.
People of a bit older generation call me DAYA. They even insist on writing like that!!!
One person had the termity to tell me that i do not know the spelling of my own name!!!
It is DAYA and not JAYA..
i dare you to beat that!!!!
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Jaya Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
forgot to add,
people also write my name as JAI and then say “but it is boy name and not a girl name!!” and i have to correct it patiently!!!
and people from down south always look for the other half of my name like jaya -lalitha, jaya-shree etc.
when i tell them it is only Jaya and no suffix !!! they are not able to understand and i have seen people writing my name like “ONLY JAYA”!!!
That day , i resolved, never to educate anybody about my name!!! let them call whatever they like!!!!
Being a Gujju guy…in a sea of “xxTESH” like HITESH, MITESH, JITESH, KAMLESH, JIGNESH… my name always gets distorted to RITESH, RAJESH, LATESH… I just can’t understand Why cant ppl pronounce RATISH.. as simple as that …. Would you belive a neighbour of 3 years still calls me Rasid (Reciept in Gujrati) .. LoL
I understand your plight every time on the phone you want to say your name you end up spelling it out clearly ….
But I have made peace with the world and I dont correct any one …. finally whats there in the name? !!
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
oh nooo….but ratish is quite an unusual gujju name! Ritesh I can understand but latesh and Rasid???!! But i can see why you’ve given up hope, it becomes tiresome to correct people all the time.
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haha….atleast thank your stars you are not in Punjab,coz personally speaking,Punjabis are even bad at pronouncing Punjabi names!(eg:my family)….and ‘Bhanchod’…..really???….Did his(/her) parents really hate him that much???
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
haha no, Bahnchod is their last name! so i suppose their ancestors were not very liked people!
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My mom has a pretty uncommon name & fun begins when she resorts to various tricks for the other person to get it right even linking it to movies or food items.
The only thing which irks me is when people miss-spell my name & surname & even after knowing it they dont bother.
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
what is ur mom’s name?
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hahahaaa
tell me abt it…
my name has been one of the most mispronounced names in history!
and i m so tuned to the idea of correcting ppl since childhood..ki kya batau..!!!
when i was in school..when teacher used to reach my name during daily attendance call..she wud go…ssssssssss n keep lukin at my name in register….(yeah my name starts with S) …that i wud knw..boy she is stuck and call out my name myself..n then say present mam too!!..
and this wud happen all 365 days every yr of school..thankfully in college…teachers would call out roll numbers so i was saved..then iagain offc and i got to hear such variations..n then ppl coming up to u and askin u how exactly to pronounce it..n then the bengalis of my offc..made a altogether new name out of my name..i never imagined it can be pronouced this way too!!
n then i went to london..and i had a name which can be mistaken for a food..and i was called thus!
m 30 now..and till date m correcting ppl abt my name..god knws how many more years to come..! phew!
n then shakespeare said..whats in a name! yeah right!
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Chinz Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:42 pm
n yeah for common ppl like pizza guys who dont need to know my name or rather no verification on name..i have a simpler version..easy on the tongues..and use that! ..makes life bit easeir!
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Vk Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Hey if u don’t mind may i know your name????? Its really intriguing………
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Yes do TELL us, what IS your name???
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imagine ur life how easy it is as compared to Mr. Bhan chod (OMG ) and i assure you, you’ll be at ease
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
haha. well yes, im quite happy with my name! poor mr and mrs bhanchod!
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I have a friend in college named Iti, just Iti… Whenever attendence is taken, the professors (who change every week) are like ” Whose roll no. 272?? …there’s no name written…just 3 bar codes…!” …While we laugh our hearts out, our poor Iti grins sheepishly before going ahead and correcting the butcherer of her name yet again…
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
HAHAH. bar codes!!!! My god, iti is such a tiny name, how can people go wrong with that!?!?
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Good read!
And you’re very cute!
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
thank you !
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hey i get the very same treatment to my poor name!!!
even our maid can’t pronounce it and goes ‘Taskeeeen’ each time she wants to call me!!
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
hello namesake!!!
haha, my friend calls me taskeen, intentionally of course!!
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Agree completely. My name in Bengal is “Shorot”, for my tamil friends, its “Sharath” ( they tell me that my name has a missing ‘h’…..give me a break) and here in US its “Shrraaat” (at least my american friends pronounce it somewhat correctly after little effort)
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
its a wonder though isnt it, i mean we actually tell them our name, why cant they just repeat it the way it sounds when we say it! I cant comprehend it!
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Hey, my name is Tilottama!! That should say it all… Spellings, weird distortions, qusetions on meaning, short forms - the works basically happen to me. Great post.
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
man, I’m way better off than you!!! thanks
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Good read!!
May sound strange but Americans out here pronounce my name better than many of my fellow Indians who call me “Issaaa”… And it sounds hideous, trust me..
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
thanks isha.
hahah isaaaa, thats so typically indian!!
reading all these comments, ive realised that ppl with short, simple names have problems too!
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Hey ur initials are TSN!… thats a sports channel here… er… i like sports.
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
er is it? though it was ESPN. TSN is tele shopping network! I dont like shopping.
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my name is Anshul…guess what I have been upto for 25 loooong years….???
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
err what anshul??
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Anshul Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
ankush, ansul, anshoo, …every year in a new class, new teacher would mess my name up…my Program Manager, still for some reason, writes it as ansul in mails…
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That’s why you should have a easy give out name - when I was in Australia i used the name ‘Bob’ for take away orders, movie rentals, home delivery etc etc
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
bamboooo, wouldnt kushal have been easier? did u really introduced urself as bamboo to the ozzies?
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Tasneem Reply:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
*introduce*
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What’s in a name ?I liked your read this sunday.I wonder how many twenty something’s are there in HT.
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i really lyk dis!!!!!
and i really appreciate dat u hav wriiten this
same is the problem with my name to……its such an easy and short name but people….will pronounce it keerti( kirti) or krati or kruti!!! lol and i always hav to correct dem by spelling it out!
some people also hear it as preeti! how can k become p?
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Try being Kushalrani. Go on, I dare you.
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Imagine being called Banduk all of your life !
Coming to think of it, its quite a KVLT surname
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sameer shah Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:02 am
At least that is what ur name carries —a banduk.
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Ouch! That hurt… You didn’t approve of my comment! I do not wish this comment to be published, but since this is the only way to communicate with you, just wanted to ask the reason, so that I don’t repeat it in the future. As far as I recollect, I didn’t write anything offensive or hurtful in my post. Or was it the mention of your colleague’s full name? I look forward to your reply. Thanks.
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I laughed so hard after reading the blog and the comments as well. Specially Mr bhanchod ( cant imagine what they go thorough, everytime the name is announced anywhere like in a felicitation ceremony, people would go mad as if the best joke of the century has been cracked!) Iti - the barcoder, what a name, great job guys, very interesting read!
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that was really well written…
i want to become a journo
is it a really stresful job??
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sameer shah Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:05 am
Are u still na-aashna will the reality?Stress comes with any thing u take seriously.
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there’s a friend of mine whose name is Piyusha.a rare name , actually i heard this name for the first time …..and always during our roll call in college her name was called out as Piyush….she like got exhausted by the end of third year correcting people with her name. So i can like in a way understand your situation Tasneem.
Also the boy next to her in the attendance sheet was Priyank,he also suffered the same problem,He was most often called Priyanka and the whole class used to laugh out loud.
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Woah! I’ve loved reading this post, and the comments that have followed. Now am sitting back and chewing my cheek when someone just called me by a new variation to my name. The usual questions are what does ur name mean? why is it so long and difficult to pronounce and after a well understood nod(seemingly!) comes out a new variation. And the tedious task of spelling it out!
It’s been Akansa, Akansha, Akancchha, Akuncha, Aancha, akanza, and displaying poker faces they decide to question why my parents kept such a funny name.
For days together at my office I was called Meenaxi coz my boss couldn’t remember my name. At other days some others preferred calling me Apeksha, Antara, and all the while I keep wondering..now who is this, only to realise, well they’re calling me!
Thanks to the systems guys, my office pc reads my login name as Akanchha and its stuck.
Oh and on the bhanchod note, its actually a variant of Banchhor or Banchor and is pronounced as ‘Mann (the hindi word for mind)’ similarly ‘Ban’; and ‘chhor (the hindi word for leave a.k.a. leave the pen)’ instead of ‘chod’
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hmmm… okay… so my name is simran (after kajol from DDLJ) and people always end up pronouncing it as “Sim-RAN”. Purposely. And that gets on my nerves. And then there’s some people (my Geography teacher for instance) who call me “Simdan”… because they can’t pronounce their ‘r’s. How many people in the world could have a lisp that changes their ‘r’s to ‘d’s? Not many, I suppose. So you see, we kinda come from the same family. LOL
And it is a freakishly common name. Still, people have problems ahahahaha xDDD
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Dont take the pronuncination of ur names so seriously.What is in the name?
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